I am a CREEP.

Most of the time in my life …I feel like it is SLIPPING away.

I feel like we are always RUNNING thru time. Like it is speeding by in a BLUR. Always in motion…

Yesterday is gone.

Today is here.

Tomorrow  is SOON.

It is a constant reminder that life is FLEETING. Life is quickly moving …while I seem to CHASE it.

Yesterday I had a BABY…now my youngest is 5.

Life is tooo short. I am not sure I will ever feel like it is ENOUGH.

It has turned me into a CREEPY person.

Yesterday, Zeek came to me and said, “I m about to lose another tooth.”

REALLY??? He had just lost 1 3 days ago…EWWWWWWWW.

And these aren’t the little cute teeth. Theses are the BIG, gross, creepy teeth.

Which of course ….I always keep.

Because being a parent has made ME CREEPY.

I was putting Zeeks’s BIG tooth into HIS BAG of teeth I have in my drawer..and the weight of the bag hit me.

Ewwwwwwwwwwww. How weird  is it that I KEEP all these teeth???

Do I keep them forever? YUCK.

Do I give them BACK to the kids one day???? GROSS

I thought to myself…being  parent has made me a CREEPY person.

I love them all so much that I will even cherish their teeth.

And lets not even get started on keeping the LOCKS that fall out of their heads!!!!!

UUUuuuuuuuugggggggghhhhhhhhhhh.

 

Family pics….

Recently we had our family photos done by a new friend, and AWESOME lady by the name of  Renee Unsworth at Greatlife Photography.

She DONATED her time and the pictures for us.

SO SWEET.

We LOVE LOVE LOVE them.

I mean seriously…could they be better?

I

think

not.

 

“Food” for thought….

THIS is what my 2 chickens will eat today….

when I saw this today it hit me…THIS is more than MILLIONS will have tonight for dinner.

PERSPECTICE is GOLDEN.

Ballet Blunders…..

This week was the first week of dance for the Fall.

The first day of a CRAZY dance year.

Last year Shasha(8) took:

ballet

Jazz/Tap combo

and Sheba took:

Ballet/Jazz Combo

well…after last years TRIAL RUN, they have decided that they LOVE dance and wanted to do MUCH more.

Sooooo…our schedule this year looks like :

Ballet, Tap, Jazz, Modern, Musical Theatre and Hip Hop.

Which means this week we are trying the classes we like to see if THAT CLASS is where we need to be-level wise.

Well, Monday Shasha tried her first modern class.

She came out and I expected her to be ALL SMILES, because she LOVES that type of music and dance.

She was not.

“How was class Shasha?”

“It was a baby class, Mom. We drew pictures with our NOSES!” she said with a disgruntled nose crinkle.

“Oh NO!!! You thought it was too easy????”

“Way. Too.Easy.” she bluntly said.

So we turned around and went right back in the studio to see if there was another class she could take that would be a better “fit”.

As soon as we walked in her friend was telling HER MOM that the class was “way too easy”, so we laughed and started lookingat the schedule.

About 5 min later their modern teacher walked into the office.

She immediately looked at the girls and said to us, “These two girls need to move to the next level class!” she said in the exact “dance teacher” tone I had become LONG ACCUSTOMED TO in my YEARS of dance classes.

I smiled…beaming.

For a moment….before she said, “But…”, I KNEW  this wouldn’t be GOOD, “They were very RUDE and stood there talking and crossing their arms.I KNEW what you girls were trying to say, You were BORED. Iget it. I KNEW.”

I was mortified. Shasha seemed to be indifferent.

I think she was shocked…she didn’t know what to do.

I felt like I was having a terrible flashback of Ms. Peggy, my ballet teacher. I was always getting into trouble. Always walking the like between ballerina and rebel.

Sometimes…the REBEL won.

And as I stood there and looked at my 8 year old daughter…I could see myself.

“Mom, we weren’t even doing anything THAT BAD. We weren’t even talking THAT MUCH.”..YEP, I am pretty sure those EXACT WORDS had come out of MY 8 year old mouth. NO DOUBT.

So, as we walked out I gave her the  old, “You cannot act like that. you have to be respectful. You have to be good.” speech… I said it and I heard my mothers voice.

I knew that I was turning into my Mother and Shasha was turning into ME!

What a circle of events. What a blessing.

At least I know WHO to call when she acts like ME.

WHOA.

PS. She wrote Ms. Ellie a note to appoligize. Whether she MEANT IT or NOT, is debatable.

LOL.

The END is near….

This time of year always creates a STIR inside of me.

Kind of a mix of fear, excitement, sadness and joy. All at the same time. I know..I'm CRAZY like that.

Summer is almost over….and the school year QUICKLY approaches. It is like s shift in our life.

We go from sleeping late …to waking up “early”.

We go from cartoons to animal planet.

We go from WII “hours”…to WII “minutes”.

It is a heavy load and I have a hard time transitioning sometimes.

I am a creature of habit…and it has become MY HABIT to sleep late, stay up late at night, and spend days at the beach or pool.

THEN..

Yesterday I saw yellow leaves actually FALL to the ground.

and I realized that

THE

END

IS

NEAR!!!!

As I watched out the window for the UPS truck HOPEFULLY delivering my school curriculum, it hit me again….

The time is NEAR.

The time for structure and rules.

The time for books, libraries, dance classes, piano lessons, and football practices.

The time for staying up late reading homeschooling blogs and   PLANNING.

The time to BE THE TEACHER.

The time to buckle down and put my big girl panties on….

I think it is as HARD for me as it is for THEM.

I wouldn’t change it for the world.

I wouldn’t….but that doesn't make it any easier.

7 am comes EARLY….no matter HOW THANKFUL YOU ARE.

LOL.

A LESSON in shoes…among other things.

Titus 2:3-5
Similarly, teach the older women to live in a way that honors God. They must not slander others or be heavy drinkers.Instead, they should teach others what is good. These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes, to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God.

 

Sometimes life CRASHES into me like a speeding car.

Sometimes I find myself SMACK-DAB in the middle of a situation that has not been planned for…a situation that you CAN’T plan for.

Lately I have found myself in a mentoring situation with a teenage girl that lives next door.

She is a sweet 16 year old girl that is at a definite crossroads in her life. 6 months ago she lost her Mother. THAT is a crossroads. A shitty, life altering crossroads.

I mean 16 is ALWAYS a crossroads. Right? Who needs THAT thrown on top?

It is at that age we start to EMERGE.

It is at THAT point that we start to BECOME who we will be.

It is ALSO at that point that a teenage girl can really start to do some LASTING DAMAGE.Trust Me. I lived it.  I’ve got the tattoos to prove it. LOL.

So here I sit…In a place where I have an opportunity to help.

I sit in a position where I can be a GOOD influence.

SO, I try…or am TRYING.

Because I think mentoring is important. It is important for young girls to SEE a woman in action. She NEEDS to see WHAT. THIS. LOOKS. LIKE.

I know that as an “older” woman…I can be persuasive.

And to be honest….as we all know I am a FOREVER student.

I am learning LOADS from this sweetie.

I am getting a crash course in 16 year old girls.

SCORE…practice for the future.

Well…the other day I picked her up from work and took her school shoe shopping.

I was excited…I thought I had style.

I was wrong.  LOL

We walked along the shoes and talked about life and boots and boys….

“How about these?” I said about what I thought was a CUTE pair of silvery ballet flats.

She looked at me with a confident smile and said, “Ewwwwwwwww, Nooooo!!!”.

“No????? These aren’t cute? Are you sure? I think these are cute. No? Really?” I stood there stunned and shocked.

I stood there on the outside of myself….like a fly on the wall, I could see my past and my future at the same time.

I looked to my left and there was another woman there with a teenage girl. There was no doubt that she was standing in her own “uncharted territory”. …HER TEEN doubting her fashion sense also.

We met eyes and I said, “I just got my first, “Ewwww. Noooo”. She looked less than surprised.

“You’ll get used to it. I’ve had MANY!” she said and followed her daughter off to buy some shoes that I am sure SHE would not have CHOSEN.

It was a surreal moment.

And

Even though I guess my style is not what it used to be.LOL.

It made me feel sooooo grateful for this opportunity.

I believe that I have been put  in this situation to SHOW  LOVE and  BE LOVED.

God has granted me this opportunity to again be the TEACHER and the STUDENT…..at the SAME TIME.

He has led US BOTH to each other…

He has made us neighbors …LITERALLY.

He has GIVEN us the chance to LEARN from each other.

He has BLESSED us with the CHANCE to TEACH each other.

And

Maybe…just maybe….

As a BONUS:   With her help- I can get my STYLE back on point.

LMAO.

Greener Grass....

My kids are some of my best teachers.

Thru them I learn sooo much about myself. It always seems to me that God has given me these children to help me GROW..just as much as I am here to help THEM grow.

It is always amazing to be GIVEN the words that I need when I am teaching THEM somrething.
Amazing because ...most of the time the words just FALL out of my mouth.
Most of the time I HEAR myself say things to them..just as I hear them MYSELF.

Today the girls were arguing all morning. They were arguing over the typical things.
Shasha dosen't want to play with Sheba.
Sheba wants Shasha to LISTEN to her.
Shash wants Sheba to stop following her.
"Leave me alone!!! I need SPACE!"
Typical of sisters.

Then today...when Sheba went to the store with Jay for a few hours- Shasha learned a lesson.

She came to me and said, "Mom...there is nothing to DO when Sheba is not here."

I looked at her and smiled.
It was music to my ears. It made me smile INSIDE.
.
I looked at her and said, "Well Shasha, this should be a lesson for you. Try and remember THAT when she is here and you are annoyed with her. Remember that in life sometimes things look or seem like they would be better another way. But in reality..Life is LIFE. What you are given is what you should be THANKFUL for."

She looked at me and smiled.
But in that moment I was also the student.
Those words were not mine. Those words were given to me.
They came from the Father.
He was talking TO ME..and THRU me- at the same time.
Because-
We are all children ....
Children of God.

Some of us are "older" than others.
Some of us are "smarter" than others.

But all of us... are Children of God in constant need of instruction and molding.

No matter how "old" or "smart" we are.

GOD knows....

Sometimes during the summer I wonder....
Are my kids are forgetting everything they learned in school last year?

Are they still "smart" ??? LOL

Anfd then right in the middle of a week filled with tooth extractions and illnesses..

Zeek says something that BLOWS your mind.

THAT was my reality this week.

While telling the CHICKEN STORY
and he said, "Mom was looking for the 1 chicken left and found her nestled deeply into a pine bush...COMPLETELY UNSCATHED."

I looked around the room to make sure I wasnt in HOMESCHOOL HEAVEN..and everyone was looking at ME.
SMILING.

I guess sometimes....God knows when I need a question answered. LOL.

My thoughts EXACTLY….

I came across this post the other day over at Rage Against the MiniVan. It is a GUEST post done by Wendy at Mountain Meanderings.

I read this and thought: WOW…I could have written this!!!!

So ..I thought I would share.

………………………………………………………………………………………………….

What I want you to know about homeschooling:
I home-school my children for many reasons, and not one of them is because I think I’m better than you.  It simply means that I think this schooling option is better for my children.  Just because I home-school does not mean that I think the school  you send your child to is inferior.  It means that for my children, I’m exercising my responsibility to educate them where I feel is the best place for them to learn.
My children are not “social morons” because they are home-schooled, nor do we hole up in our home with blinds drawn so that we don’t have to face the world.  We have play dates with friends, we participate in community sports, we go to church and Sunday school, we do summer art and science programs, we go the library, we spend time interacting with family and with those around us as we live our day-to-day lives. 
In our home-school, we do all the same subjects that your child does in public or private school.  And if my child struggles with a certain subject, the home-schooling is not to blame.  How many children are there in the public school that receive special education or tutoring services?  A lot-and that’s because every child is different.  If my child were in public school, would you blame the school for my child’s struggles?  That’s not exactly logical.  Likewise, it doesn’t make any sense for you to blame the home-school if my child is a struggling learner.

Just because I stay at home and teach my children does not mean “I’m lucky to have all the time in the world to keep my house clean and to run errands.”  Honestly, being a home-school mom has much of the same challenges as being a mom who works outside the home.  Teaching takes time, and lots of it.  That’s why teachers get paid.  It takes time to plan lessons, to grade papers, to arrange field trips.  I used to teach in a public school…my days are not that different, just the number and ages of my students!  I’m just as tired and stressed and short on time and sleep as any other mom.
The next time you meet a home-school mom, please don’t go on the defense because you think I’m critical of you for your schooling choices.  We’re all different.  We all have different experiences that shape who we are and why we do what we do.  Please don’t glare at me when you see me in the store with my kids in the middle of the day.  Don’t worry…we are getting our work done on our own schedule, just not necessarily the typical school day schedule.  And please don’t judge my children more harshly than you judge any other public or private-schooled child.  Because when it comes down to it, all children, whether home-schooled or not, will (horror of horrors) do childlike things.  It comes in the definition of “child.” 
And just because I’m a home-school mom, it does not mean that I’m the perfect speller or that I use perfect grammar every time or that I know everything…I’m a perfectly flawed human being that is learning along with her kids.   So please just accept me as willingly as you would accept someone who makes the same schooling choices as you do.  And I’ll do the same.  And that’s what I want you to know. 

A no good, very bad day…and a silver lining.

Some days are harder than others.

SOME days SUCK. Seriously.

Yesterday was one of  THOSE days.

I woke from a WHOLE 3 hours of sleep, after work on Wed. night, and did the same thing I do every morning.

I rubbed my eyes and pulled back the curtain to let the morning sun in.

Then I saw it.

The slaughter.

The chicken coop door was wide open and the inside of the coop was DESTROYED. The nesting boxes were on the floor, the water dumped over, the chicken  food everywhere…

and then I saw the chickens.

I stood there shocked with my mouth WIDE OPEN.

They were all over the yard. The feathers told the story of a struggle.

A struggle that went on during the night under cover of moonlight.

A struggle that ended in the loss of 6 chickens.

The dog had gotten into the coop….or the kids left it open.

It

does

not

matter

HOW

it

happened.

What matters is THAT it happened.

I screamed for Jay and walked around the yard searching for a sign of life.

any sign.

1,2,3,4.

4 dead.

1,2…..hurt badly.

That is 6 accounted for.

I ran around the yard crying and apologizing to my sweet  hens.

All the while the kids were starting to flow out of the house and realize what was happening…It was a  nightmare.

We all loved the chickens.

We raised them from chicks and had become attatched to them.

But- There was 1 missing….the pajama chicken.

PJ Puff was nowhere to be found….

I roamed the yard CALLING for her, as if she would come to me BECAUSE I was calling her.

She didn’t. But…  I JOYFULLY found her  DEEPLY nestled INTO a palm bush. So deep that the dog(s) didn’t get to her. She is probably TRAUMATIZED in chicken terms ..for sure.

But ALIVE…and we feel BLESSED for that.

Jason quickly buried the 4 chickens that didn’t make it and we scooped up the 2 who were obviously hurt and made them a bed of hay in the coop. We laid them there and prayed for the best.

It was a terrible start to what would be an even WEIRDER day.

Jay went to work and I got the girls ready for dance camp…because life oddly moves on without a hitch.

I was so mad at the dog(s) that I seriously wanted to just give the puppy away.

SHE was the one who chased the chickens.

SHE was the one who sat at the guinea  pigs cage and DROOLED.

SHE was the one who was a PUPPY. UGH.

SHE was the one.

I couldn’t help but think that MAYBE, just maybe …she wasn’t a good fit.

Maybe she wasn’t the right puppy for us. I was PISSED. We were down to 1 hen and 1 guinea pig.

PISSED. MAD. FURIOUS. You can’t even imagine.

I mentioned it to Zeek.

THAT DID NOT GO WELL.

He was devastated. He didn’t understand. I tried to explain the whole”not fitting in” thing. No. Didn’t work. He was depressed.

I tried to talk him thru it. I WANT him to feel the way I feel. I WANT him to understand and just be OK.

Apparently….That is not how it works.

He was SAD.

This part of parenting SUCKS.

But the day moved on…

again…without a hitch.

The girls were picked up by a friend we carpool with and I got ready for a day PREVIOUSLY planned.

A fun filled day of beach and splashpark shenanigans.

We HAD BEEN excited.

So I decided that we needed to KEEP OUR PLANS and pick up the girls from camp and head to the beach.

The kids  needed a minute to NOT THINK about the chickens.

The kids needed a minute to NOT THINK about losing their dog.

The kids NEEDED a MINUTE to soak up the sun, feel the sand in their toes and the water splash against their skin.

Who was I kidding? I needed a minute.

So we did just that.

We gave thanks in the midst of CHAOS.

We appreciated the LIFE we have. The 1 hen that was spared and the LOVE, FRIENDS, and FAMILY that surrounds us.

We talked and talked …all day.

We talked about the circle of life and how JAH is in control…even when it feels like he is not.

AND yesterday…IT DID NOT.

We talked about how life is HARD and how sometimes we have to find the blessings….even when they seem to be hidden…in plain sight.

All day yesterday I BEGGED for the wisdom to help these kids understand.

It was a hard day.

Harder than most.

And then we headed home.

I loaded up the 6 kids and started to drive home.

And then our day got WEIRDER.

On the way home I got pulled over.

Seriously?

All the while Shasha is in the background crying saying, “Mom….youre getting PULLED OVER. MOM!!!!”

I KNOW she thought she was going to some kiddie jail.

Seriously.

He came up on me and said, “Maam…DO you have your DL?”

“Yes ..Here it is.”

He looked at it and said, “Do you have a white jeep?”

“Yes.”

He looked at me weird and said…"”I just pulled over your husband. RIGHT BEFORE YOU.”

Seriously?

How weird is that.

I looked at him and told him that he had NO IDEA how weird my day was….he didn’t ask.

The SILVER LINING was the fact that he let us both off with WARNINGS.

Seriously???

What a crazy, no good, weird day…..

I went to sleep last night PRAYING that tomorrow would be better than today. ..and feeling more like a STUDENT of life than ever.