Reminded..........

Many mornings I wake and wonder.....

I wonder WHY?
I wonder HOW?

Why is it that we sit HERE...
with food to eat.
a BED to sleep on.
access to medicine.
clothes to wear.
CLEAN water to drink.

Why is it US?

Why do THEY sit THERE???
with NO FOOD to eat.
with nothing but a mud floor to sleep on.
no access to ANY kind of health care.
no shoes on their feet.
and
nothing but DIRTY, disease-filled water to drink.

Why  .....

Why are we the "lucky" ones?
Why are the ones that "have it good" and have the LUXURY to NOT CARE or CARE on a  moment to moment basis?

Why are THEY the ones who have to PRAY they make it BACK from the well without being kidnapped and raped?

It feels UNFAIR.
It feels SAD.
I feel UNWORTHY...and DEFINITELY not MORE WORTHY than her....

That woman loves those babies...just like I love mine.
Thant woman wants her babies to be safe and healthy...just like me.
BUT...
She is there and I am here...In front of my computer listening to music in my MANSION, with a FULL fridge, while my children sleep in their safe beds.

Seems so UNREAL...Like a blessing granted but not understood.

As I think about this, all that keeps coming to mind is that - NO MATTER WHAT- I should GIVE THANKS....always.

Maybe the reason I see these things is because I need the constant reminder...I NEED to be aware.
I NEED to remember..
I need MY LIFE to be put into perspective.
I need the constant reminder that ...
my life is BLESSED.
No matter how much I want MORE...I NEED LESS.

Maybe the reason I sit here an SEE  is to remind YOU.............

I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or living in want. I can do everything thru HIM that gives me strength. Philippians 4:11-13

Proof Positive..........

How in the world has it been 11 years????

It seems like yesterday and forever ago at the same time.

11 years ago today we went from JUST THE 2 of us...to family.
I had no idea what an IMPACT you would have in my life.
We were all babies then....
We were all fresh to our new lives.
It was the begenning of OUR new life as a family.
We had been thru a FIRE to be together and YOU were the prize.
YOU were my PROOF....a manifestation of GOD'S LOVE for me.
I remember thinking that I COULD NOT BELIEVE they were going to just
let
us
leave with you.


I knew NOTHING about being a Mother.
I was broken, flawed, and rebelious.
How could I deserve YOU???

How could I be WORTHY of you???
I had no idea that it was all inside me.
You have been one of the most influencial people in my life.
I have learned sooo much from you in the last 11 years.
You have taught me to be honest, caring, and sympathetic.


You amaze me more and more everyday.
I am sooo proud of the person you ahve become.
Thru you, I learn more and more about myself everyday.
I love to see you care for and love your brother and sisters.
You are a GOLDEN example of a good brother and thoughtful leader.

Thru you I SEE God.

Thank you for being you.
And
THANK GOD for trusting us enough to give us something
SO
WONDERFULLY MADE.


You are a TRUE blessing, son.

We love you FOREVER and ALWAYS.

Happy 11th Birthday, Ezekiel!!!

Life lessons......

Sometimes in life something comes at you at out nowhere....
out of the clear blue.

Sometimes life gets sooo comfortable that when tragedy does strike....we are NOWHERE near ready for it.

Life lessons come way tooo early sometimes.

But just like an AVALANCHE....pain can change the lightness of your life....to HEAVINESS.

A few nights ago, as we slept, our SWEET, SWEET, dog Maya got out of our yard and was hit and killed by a motorcycle. Our neighbor found her nad Jay found out at 7 am and had to bury her alone in the woods near our house.

I knew when I saw his face....there is a CERTAIN LOOK a man has when he is SERIOUS.

Jay had that look. I knew. There. was. something. wrong.

Our eyes met thru the old fence panels, "Maya was killed last night. DO NOT tell the kids right now.I just buried her.", he said in a shaky voice.

My heart silently broke for our sweet girl.
My heart broke for my kids....we have been thru the death of a dog before.
But the kids were WAY younger....so it was easier to "get over".

I stood silent for a moment and then turned to the house....which now felt like a puzzle with a small peice missing.

As a parent you want to SHIELD your children from pain. You want to KEEP them from heartache.

But ...in life....pain is inevitable.

and so is death.

It was a LONG day filled with "where's Maya?" questions paired with " When will she come home?" ...while I waited to talk to Daddy and decide what we were going to tell them.

I went back and forth between NOT telling them, which included LYING to the EVERYDAY, and telling them the harsh truth (Which I knew would devestate them).

In the end...we chose the TRUTH.

Because life is fragile and GOD is in control...and
WE
CAN'T
DENY
IT!!!!!

No matter how much we wanted to IGNORE the fact that Maya was gone...we couldn't.

THAT would not make it go away.

So we subjected their little hearts to the terrible news that one of their beloved BFF's was gone.

It was one of the most HEARTBREAKING things I have ever seen.

We wailed as a family for our fallen Maya.

We cried and hugged..all night.

We TRIED to understand and we learned new saying like "I can't wrap my mind around that"....

We answered questions from a 5 year old like, "So Maya is dead right? But we will see her again, right? But not till we are OLD right?"

And we watched as they told EVERY PERSON that they saw that Maya died.

And in turn...we had to tell the story TONS of times.

HARD questions.

HARD answers..

But...in the end...They always know that the TRUTH is everlasting, and you can't run from it or deny it....no matter how hard you try.

At the same time, life is beautiful and God reigns supreme.

He gives and he takes away...
and
ONLY HE knows when that will happen.

Thank goodness.

Psalm 27:4-5
One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple. For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle and set me high upon a rock.

Truthful Tuesday… differently.

"Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless; maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed. Rescue the weak and needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked." Psalm 82:3-4

"He who oppresses the poor shows contempt for their Maker, but whoever is kind to the needy honors God." Proverbs 14:31

…………………………………………………………………………………………

I started this little “truthful Tuesday” post on my blog a couple of weeks ago…

it was meant to be about ME and MY FAMILY.

About something in MY LIFE that I was being honest about.

Seems silly to think that ANYONE would want to know about my laundry “guilt” or my unwashed dishes.

DUMB.

I mean really….how NARSASISTIC.

Anyway…It all SEEMED like a great idea.

THEN….

I had a stirring day yesterday..

The LORD really spoke to me thru a friend of mine.

She is a missionary in Haiti…and she is an amazing writer who truly has a way with words.

She has a GOD given gift….a way of thinking and a way of expressing herself so beautifully.

And so TRUTHFULLY.

She has been thrown directly into the fire…eyes OPENED.

She ha.s been STRIPPED of preconceived notions and assumed lies

Lead right in onto the FRONT LINES of GODS battlefield.

She was brave and selfless in making the decision to GO to Haiti.

I am sure that there are those that think that taking 4 kids from their HUGE beautiful home in their safe neighborhood is …CRAZY.

BUT----

I get it! I am the same way…

I am a SUCKER for the oppressed.

This bible verse has always affected me:

"Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless; maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed. Rescue the weak and needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked." Psalm 82:3-4

And reading her blog and her stories of oppression and pain  makes me want to JUMP IN.

I guess its my personality.

I am a SPRINTER.

When I am moved ….I MOVE.

So…as you can imagine my first instinct is to go directly to Haiti and say , “yes…I want a baby” or “Babe…lets move to Haiti…we have to help SOLVE the PROBLEM.”

But …

That is my FIRST, CRAZY, NON-THINKING self ….SPRINTING.

It is not a REAL solution to ANY PROBLEMS.

It is my “FIGHT or FLIGHT” instinct.

Just a reaction to UNSETTLING , AWFUL, HORRIBLE things that go on in the world.

Fortunately, after a day of just meditating on it,  thinking and praying about the situation…I calmed down and canceled the tickets to Haiti.  LOL

But-seriously…..

I truly feel like GOD(Jah) works in mysterious ways.

I feel like he is moving me to be MORE ACTIVE and intentional with my actions.

I mean …..there are PLENTY of problems in MY TOWN.

So many homeless and oppressed sleeping on the streets of Saint Augustine right now.

There are so many oppressed families that are needy in our own community.

So many hungry mouths and lonely hearts….

So much to do….

So many lessons to learn.

So much to teach.

THIS was the last paragraph on another blog today(Katie).

SWEET, AMAZING, WISE girl………..

“So we go. This is where our family is today and where I hope to stay – loving, because He first loved us. Going into the pit, entering into the sorrow because He entered for us first and because by His grace, redemption is on the other side - again, and again, and again.”

EXACTLY…

Here we go…..LOVING.

………………………………………………………………………………………

There will always be poor people in the land. Therefore I command you to be openhanded toward your brothers and toward the poor and needy in your land." Deuteronomy 15:11

More TOGETHERNESS….

We have been having an AWESOME time with Jackie and Hailey in town.

What a blessing.

It seems to me that as we get older….we just MIGHT get wiser.

Gone are the days of fighting and bickering.

Gone are the days of childish games and competitiveness.

Now…

we just love each other.

We can just APPRECIATE each other for who we are.

TRULY.

We have accepted our “roles”.

Mine- the “Crazy” Aunt Jana who flies by the seat of her pants and is NEVER on time.

Hers-the “Not so Crazy” Aunt Jackie who likes to be on a schedule and is perpetually EARLY for everything.

We couldn’t be MORE different…or more the SAME.

Here are a few more pics of our journey this week….

 

That “LOVE”ly smell…………

When Jay and I first met …..

11 years ago-

I always LOVED the way he smelled.

Something about the MUSTY, MAN smell.

To me …It smells like HOME.

My Home.

My Safety.

My LOVE.

When I would nestle in THAT spot.

The one where I  could REALLY smell HIS SMELL.

In his arms…safely.

Well today… I was reading with Zeek during school.

We were laying on my bed..all cozy under a blanket.

I leaned down and kissed his little head…

AND

there it was ,,

His Fathers smell.

I leaned down to smell again and almost cried.

HOME.

Just like HOME.

He is growing up so fast..

I know that before I know it hell be too big to cuddle and read “Iron Man” in my bed.

I know that before long he will pull away in the name of “Growing Up”.

So for TODAY….

I just took it in.

I didn’t rush off to check on the “littles”.(Shasha was playing “teacher” with them on the computer.)

I didn’t run off to do some dishes “real quick”.

I just took it in……

His smell.

His presence.

His LOVE.

Growing PAINS……

There is something WIERD going on in this house…

Its happening with Ezekiel.

My sweet, sweet firstborn son is GROWING.

I’m not sure how to explain it except that he’s CHANGING!

He is normally very even headed and DIPLOMATIC.

But LATELY….he is SOOOOOO emotional.

And when I say EMOTIONAL…I mean EMOTIONAL!!!

Like “Freak out for no reason” emotional.

He seems to go from 0 to 100 in about a half second!!!!!

For example:

On Thanksgiving afternoon we were all ready to eat and we were making the kids plates.

It was Zeeks’ turn….

I said, “Give me your plate and walk with me…Ill make your plate.”

His NORMAL RESPONSE would have been “OK”.

But that day…..His response was, “Mom, I am 9 years old…I should be able to make my own plate. Why can’t I make my own plate? I WANT TO MAKE MY OWN PLATE…I’M 9 YEARS OLD!”

AND he was CRYING…..

I was SHOCKED.

WHO WAS THIS CREATURE???

And WHY was he CRYING?

I said…”Zeek, Stop crying.  You can make your own plate, Son.”

Jay and I had already started to “notice” that SOMETHING was going on.

Sometimes he just has been having  “EMOTIONAL” days.

“Cry about everything for NO REASON” days.

“Everyone is bothering me” days.

“Why do I have ALL the responsibility” days.

It is strange…all these changes are SPEEDING by way too fast.

Wasn’t it just this morning we were LEARNING our ABC’s?????

Wasn’t it JUST yesterday that I was changing  diapers and nursing????

Wasn’t it JUST last week that I was taking a pregnancy test….or 4????

Wasn’t it JUST  last year that we were  in  LOVE , selling burritos in the rain in Costa Rica with NO CHILDREN YET????

Apparently NOT!!!!!

Apparently Zeek was born 9 YEARS AGO and is CHANGING ….

Right NOW.

Like it

or

NOT!

Its HAPPENING!!!!!

He CHANGING and NO AMOUNT of NOT WANTING HIM TO will change THAT.

Pray for me……I think I’m going to need it!!!!!

Blessings and Love…

Jana

A SHORT session....is all it takes.

Today was Malachis Day!!!!

I have been trying to take 1 child with me to do SOMETHING special each Sunday.

And TODAY was his day...he was soooo excited!

Personally...I was glad it was his day because he has a little bit of "FREAK OUT-ITIS" and we needed to have a talk.

I woke up this morning and was excited because I knew he was THRILLED!

I had no idea where I was going to take him but we were going....

We got in the car and he said, "I am sooo excited Mom!"
Precious boy....

So I asked him if he ws hungry and he said he was...of course.

LOL

I looked at my phone and it was 10:30...

and he wanted FRENCH FRIES.

We pulled into Sonic and sat and ate our french fries at 10:30 in the morning sun..
so sweet.

Then we headed to Michaels craft store.

I needed some felt for the Kinders Math...(more on that later).

We went in and looked around at all the neat stuff...daydreaming of all the crafts we could do!!!!

I could seriously get LOST in there!

He LOVED that place.

Then we headed to WALMART.

SOOOOO much easier with 1 child...i do have to say!

LOL

I was expecting to have to entertain him.

I was FULLY prepared for the park, carousel, whatever.

Funny thing is...at Walmart he said, "Mom- can we go home. Cameron is there I want to PLAY!"

And there it was....he had had enough!!!!

Note to self...A 5 year olds "attention" needs can be met fairly quickly!

But in our short "date" we did have that talk about behavior, life, and consequences.

Ill let you know tomorrow how well it all "sunk in"!

And to top the "date" off nicely...

As we pulled in the driveway he said, "Mom- I really LOVED what we just did!"

As you can imagine...my heart was melting.

I know he had a great time because as I am writing this he came in and handed me a "book" he had made ...all about our TRIP TODAY!!!!

Sweet, sweet Malachi.

Not so UGLY Bread..........

5 He who mocks the poor shows contempt for their Maker;
whoever gloats over disaster will not go unpunished.

6 Children's children are a crown to the aged,
and parents are the pride of their children. Proverbs 17:5-6






We drove up on a man and I caught his eye....but I had no money to give.

He was standing there with a sign.

Hungry.

Ugghhh...I hate that.

We usually have SOMETHING TO GIVE.

After we passed, Sheba said(from the backseat)...
"Mom, He was.....(she couldn't figure out what TO SAY)".

Shasha jumped in and said....
"Mom, He had a sign."
"It said he was HUNGRY".

Then Sheba said the FUNNIEST THING EVER!!!!

She said..."Mom, Why didn't you pay him?"

OMG!!!!

So Funny!!!!

We usually have some kind of change or a few dollars to give.

This time we had NOTHING!!!

So she was wondering WHY?

Why didn't we "pay" the man??

He was HUNGRY!!!

Sweet child was so confused.

I could see it on her face.


As GOD would have it we just so happen to have the HOMEMADE BREAD we had spent the last few HOURS making at Amy's....

Figures!!!

LOVE IT!!!!

So the girls decided that they wanted to give him some bread.

We circled around and pulled up next to him and handed him the bread.

The look on his face was PRICELESS!!!

He ws sooooo THANKFUL!

What a wonderful end to a wonderful evening!

As we drove away..
In my rear view mirror
I could see my 2 awesome daughters that care sooo much about a man they dont even know.

And in my side mirror..
I could see the man who had a little more energy from some UGLY homemade bread.

What a Blessing!!!

What a LIFE!!!!!!!!1





"

A "Lifetime" away...........lol

Today was a crazy day...
Our "show" aired on Lifetime....AGAIN.
Its crazy how ....all the sudden this AM- I was TAKEN BACK to THERE.
That place 2 yeares ago when I was READY to do a reality TV show.
Show me the MONEY...That was my thought.
That was the ONLY reason FOR ME to do it.
I was pretty sure at the time that I was going to be "TRADED" with a CRAZY CLOWN mom, or a NAZI RACIST.
Someone who was going to PISS ME OFF...for sure.

I was NOT prepared for what actually happened.
I was not prepared to MAKE A DIFFERENCE.
And ...I think I did.

Everytime I see the episode or hear that it has been on ...I REALLY CRINGE.
It makes my heart beat fast and my throat go dry...actually.

I ALWAYS KNOW when someone is aproaching me BECAUSE OF THE SHOW.
They have THAT look.
The look that says..."There is that RASTA LADY with that CRAZY man!"
LOL...no LMAO
I alwys KNOW what they are going to say.
Its always nice.
I HAVE learned that people dont GENERALLY go out of their way to say something AWFUL.

Its usually something like .....
"I loved you on that show!"
or
"Your kids are soooo cute!"
or
"Are you THAT lady that was on THAT show?"

Usually I answer them BEFORE they ask.

Well today I woke up and found out that "THE SHOW" was on at 1pm.

And there it was...the fast beating heart and the dry throat.

UUUgggghhhhhhhh...........

And then it came and went ....1:00 to 2:00.

And throughout the whole thing...I LAUGHED.

It is quite COMICAL now!

The shitty editing, my sentences cut in HALF, Jay saying WOMAN every 5 minutes.

It was RATHER FUNNY!

And then it happened again.
The SAME thing that has happened since October 31...2 years ago.
People were supportive.
I got emails from people I dont know.
AND people I know.
ALL NICE.
ALL ENCOURAGING.

THAT is what I didnt expect out of the WHOLE THING........
to EFFECT PEOPLE.

Here are just SOME of the AWESOME THINGS people had to say:

From Julie:
Just watching this show far for 30 minutes is eye opening to me. I have been struggling with issues lately and have needed some guidance and am finding it in unexpected places. Jana you have such a good heart and it comes through in your show no ma...tter what they edit out. Unfortunately I am seeing myself in the other parents with too much structure and not enough spontaneous fun and adventure. I am thrilled that I just came across this randomly. Thank you for your experiences. Just a small glimpes of your good hearted family is giving me ideas for change in my life.

I am glad I got to finally see it. I think you are a blessed family and it shows. Your kids are amazing. They were so sweet to James in the pool at Cindy's this summer and the love shows through in them. You totally healed that father/daughter relationship and that is a huge deal. No amount of editing can take that part of the show away :)


From Kim:
I think you made a huge impact on the other family.

From Ali:
Ali Almasy September 29 at 2:22pm Report
Hi Jana, my name is Ali.. I'm almost 18 years old and I just saw your family on an episode of wife swap. i could not believe that finally a terrific family who believes in things i believe in was on that show! i got teary eyed whenever that one dad said he would double what his daughters put in that donation jar. it was so sweet so see something had gotten through to him. i live in a suburb and my family is definitely not like yours and they don't understand things that i believe in. its too foreign to them i guess. i just wana tell you though that i totally look up to you and i hope one day that if im ever a mother i can bring up my children with the same amazing beliefs that you raise your children under. my peers at my public school just drive me insane because they are all so materialistic and haven't got one clue about actual problems in the world. i do conservational work and have gone on month long camping and trail repairing trips including my favorite which was all over the Alaskan Range. I want to work with unfortunate children one day as my job and maybe be a therapeutic camp counselor or something and teach them how beautiful nature is and to be thankful for simplicity or show them that being self sufficient and simplistic is the way to live happily.

well, i hope to get some sort of response from you! if not, i just wana say one more time it made me so happy to see your wonderful family and how great of a person & mother you are.


I am soooo grateful for an opportunity to effect ANYONE by just BEING US!

I feel soooo blessed tonight......I bet I fall asleep smiling.

MORE than Math.........

Sometimes in life I have moments when the fog clears and things become AMAZINGLY clear.

TODAY..I had one of those moments.

Zeek and Shasha had finished their math test...BOTH making a 100!!!!!

SO I decided to let them choose something out of the "prize box".

Hold on...before anyone gets toooo excited- there isn't THAT much in the box yet! LOL

Anyway, Shasha chose some pink lipgloss-BIG SURPRISE!

And Ezekiel chose a dollar.

He came to me a few minutes later and wanted to put the money in his wallet so that later at the gym he could get a fruit Popsicle.

They have been REALLY WANTING one of them for weeks.....

I told him that he could get one, but he would have to do it when the other kids were in Yoga(he doesn't go to yoga anymore...its not cool! He sits beside me -beside the treadmills.)

Without even a THOUGHT he said, " No Mom, I think Ill wait and save enough $$$ for ALL of us to get one."
He quickly put the $$$ in his wallet and went back to his game of rescue heroes.

Never saying a word to anyone else.

At that moment I felt as though the sun was shining directly on this little soul.

He was glowing...with HUMBLENESS, KINDNESS, SWEETNESS, and LOVE!!!!!!

Some things are sooooo much more important that MATH..........

"Life is a thing, when you learn-you GROW!!!"

Ezekiel 16:4-6
And as for your birth,on the day you were born your cord was not cut, nor were you washed with water to cleanse you, nor rubbed with salt, nor wrapped in swaddling cloths. No eye pitied you, to do any of these things to you out of compassion for you, but you were cast out on the open field, for you were abhorred, on the day that you were born."

And when I passed by you and saw you wallowing in your blood, I said to you in your blood, 'Live!' I said to you in your blood, 'Live!' I made you flourish like a plant of the field. And you grew up and became tall and arrived at full adornment.

This Verse SPOKE to me today!!!!

A friend wrote on her blog about how we are all so "gross" when "found" by GOD!!!

That is sooooo TRUE!!!

Arent we all "gross" when SAVED.

Thank goodness God isnt a CLEAN-FREAK.

We would ALL be in trouble.
LOL

Sweet , Sweet Boy...........

On the first day of school this year, one of the things I had the kids do was fill out a "All about Me" page.

Favorite color?
Favorite song?
Favorite Movie?

Just get to know you exercise ....

The last question on the page was this:
If you were an animal- What would it be and what CHARACTERISTICS do you have like THAT animal?

Shasha said..."What is a CHARACTERISTIC?"

Zeek said(without skipping a beat)..."Shasha-like...Your a butterfly-beautiful and gentle."

I almost fainted!!!!!

What a sweet boy, with an AMAZING heart!!!!!!!

God is LAUGHING.......at us.

Sometimes in my life...a movie REALLY touches me.
Last night I watched "The Business of Being Born".
AMAZING!
Its a beautiful, lovely documentary.
Ricki Lake(yes, the talk show host) produced a movie that was ALL about Midwifery and birth.
AND homebirth.......
Yes...homebirth.
Its a scary word.."homebirth".
Let it sink in...Homebirth.
I know...scary.
That's what we are programed to think.
Because...BIRTH has become a BUSINESS.
Why a homebirth?
Here's why......

In most cultures throughout history, women have given birth at home. The majority of women worldwide continue to birth their babies in non-hospital settings today. In many cultures birth is viewed as an integral part of family life. The advent of obstetrics in this century had a tremendous effect on childbirth customs in the United States. The birthing process became segregated from mainstream family life. Many were led to believe that the only safe birth was a hospital birth. Though doctors and hospitals took credit for statistics that indicated that birth was more successful than in previous centuries, in reality better nutrition, hygiene and disease control improved outcomes. Even today US statistics don't support the premise that the only safe birth is a hospital birth. The US ranks 28th among industrialized nations for healthy births, at 7.0 infant deaths per 1000 births. (These data are based on 2002 statistics from the Maternal and Child Health Bureau: US Department of Health and Human Services.) Hospitals have never been proven a safe place to have a baby.

By the 1950s, most births in the US were taking place in hospitals. Cesareans, epidurals and heavy doses of pain medication became the norm. Women were denied feeling and experiencing birth through their bodies, and the drugs were having adverse effects on mothers and babies.

In the 1960s and '70s, women began to question and challenge the way obstetricians were treating them—as though childbirth were a sickness. Women began to reclaim their power, and the homebirth movement was born.

The 1990s became a time of maternity awareness. People were concerned with making all of pregnancy and birth a family experience. Today, a carefully monitored homebirth has been proven to be very safe and successful for women who have been helped to stay low-risk through nutrition and good prenatal care.

Ok, Ok.....Homebirth is NOT for everyone.
There are ALWAYS some cases where a homebirth is NOT POSSIBLE.
I am not an idiot...just a realist.

This film is SHATTERING the ILLUSION of what we are all fed as a society.
I have had BOTH kinds of birth and can tell you that I would NEVER do it any other way AGAIN.
Homebirth changed the way I view childbirth.
Life is a blessing....
Most of the time-Interference is UNNECESSARY.

The "treasure" of LOVE.....

Treasure hunting????

In St. Augustine????

Thats what they told us.

Pawpaw and Mimi Suzy, that is.

Its called "Goecaching".

And apparently...it all the rage, all over the world!!!!!

Who knew?????

Grandparents...that who!

Heres EXACTLY what it is:
Geocaching is an outdoor activity in which the participants use a Global Positioning System (GPS) receiver or other navigational techniques to hide and seek containers (called "geocaches" or "caches") anywhere in the world. A typical cache is a small waterproof container (usually a tupperware or ammo box) containing a logbook. Larger containers can also contain items for trading, usually toys or trinkets of little value. Geocaching is most often described as a "game of high-tech hide and seek", sharing many aspects with orienteering, treasure-hunting, and waymarking.

Geocaches are currently placed in over 100 countries around the world and on all seven continents, including Antarctica.[1] There are over 865,000 active geocaches in the world right now.[2]


Pawpaw and Mimi Suzy were the last of the family to visit.

We were really excited to see them after about 7 months.

They had been telling me about Geocaching for about the last 3 or 4 months and it seemed pretty cool.

I KNEW the kids would LOVE it!!

A modern day TREASURE HUNT!!!

They were RIGHT, after Pawpaw gave a short "lesson" on a GPS and how it worked, the rules, and how it was SECRET(as if w/ 4 kids! LOL)...we were off.

The clues for the first CACHE were simple.....it was CLOSE, about 150 feet from our front door actually!!!

It was so fun watching the kids get so into it...And-I have to admit-It WAS FUN!!!!!

I couldnt belive all this treasure hunting was going on- RIGHT BENEATH OUR NOSES!!!!

As Erykah Badu would say, "Im an Anolog girl in a digital world!"

I had NO idea!!!!

We looked for treasure:
(Typical cache treasures are not high in monetary value but may hold personal value to the finder. Aside from the logbook, common cache contents are unusual coins or currency, small toys, ornamental buttons, CDs, or books. Also common are objects that are moved from cache to cache called "hitchhikers", such as Travel Bugs or Geocoins, whose travels may be logged and followed online.)

It was EVERYWHERE!!!

In total I think we found 7...ALL OVER St. Augustine!!

They were everywhere from hidden in the bushes to under benches!

We learned about the site that it was hidden in each time!!!!

AWESOME!!!!.........SECRET SUMMER SCHOOL!!!!!!

And the kids really loved spending the time with Pawpaw and Mimi Suzy.

While they were in town we also had MANY other adventures including:
The movies- "G-force 3d"!!!!
sharktooth hunting in Vilano
ice cream
gourmet cupcake shop
siteseeing downtown
ghost tour(adults only)
homeschool meeting
dinner at Fridays
beach with friends
playing a 2 hour game of UNO-attack!
and MANY MORE...
ALL THE WHILE...searching for treasure!!!

It was great!!!

Although I have to say that the biggest "treasure" we found was LOVE, LAUGHTER, and MEMORIES that we made!!!!

Those things you just cant put in a "cache".

Rasta Rerun!!!!

This is an entry from Sat, Dec.8,2007....ENJOY!!!!
Were still on Vacation!!!!!!






I was up last night w/ the kids ...SICK . I turned on the TV and was brought back to real roots real FAST.

BOB MARLEY LIVE was one of the first concerts that I saw of Bob Marley and it touched me to the core.

It touched me at a time in my life when I was so lost and and I was searching for my own soul.

It was 1998...VILANO BEACH...my apartment.

I remember it like it was TODAY...
It was one of theose moments of CLARITY that CHANGED MY LIFE.

It was while watching this show that I realized that my life was in the depths of HELL...

It was while watching this show that I was INFUSED with the love of GOD...

I was while watching this that I realized that my life was soooooo far from where it was supposed to be...

It CHANGED MY LIFE!!!!

Almost from that EXACT MOMENT....I was SAVED.

Rastafari entered my life and I realized that life could be full of LIGHT.

It was in thes moments that I met CHRIST.

It was in these moments that I FINALLY realized that JAH was INSIDE of me...He was the light that was always there, waiting for me to bust thru MY 7 SEALS.

My eyes, ears, nose and mouth ....MY 7 seals..... BUSTED WIDE OPEN.

It was from these moments that my mind worked in a different way than it did before....I was now walking IN THE LIGHT.

I sit here and reflect on my life ...with tears streaming down my face.

Tears of Joy, thankfullness, happiness, love, light......

I thank God for this Journey...

I thank Jah for this LIFE.

Our "Catch and Release" Program

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

A "learning" experience....

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

Thursday night we came FULL circle.

At the beginning of this schoolyear we THOUGHT it would be beneficial for Malachi to go to the free Pre-K program at the preschool.

WE THOUGHT....

If I am honest I really thought it would give me extra time in the day for Zeek and Shashas lessons....It didn't!

It really just DISRUPTED our schedule and DIDN'T fit into our lives.

He was supposed to be there by 9.

We NORMALLY would have started school BEFORE 9.

BUT-because he had to be dressed and "EMOTIONALLY" ready for school... we rarely started school before 9:30 an then had to STOP our lessons to go get him by 12.

NOT so easy for OUR schedule!

Poor guy rarely wanted to go because he KNEW that the other kids were AT HOME learning.

Another thing that made it hard was our bible study.

I like to do it 1st thing in school...BEFORE we do ANYTHING else.

But with Malachi in school..we couldn't do it 1st thing an it got "put off" till after he got home an then sometimes ..DIDN't get done at all!

BUT we made it and MALACHI "graduated"...I had to bribe him at the end-But he DID it!
,
An so there it was...our "learning" experience in pre-k.

Yet another REASSURANCE that WE ARE HOMESCHOOLERS!!!!!

Talking her DOWN.....

Shashamane is a DRAMATIC little girl.

The other day she came to me with a small rash in her hairline...NO BIG DEAL! Right?

WRONG! LATER that day she came to me with a small "problem".

ACTUALLY...She came to me TOTALLY freaking out.

She had laid back on her head and felt a small LUMP.

She came to me in a panic.

She RAN into my room and said in her little raspy voice..."Mom, Whats wrong with me? I have a BIG BUMP on the back of my head. Is it ok? What if its NOT ok? Mom, What are we going to DO?"

She was BAWLING....the sweet child was BAWLING because she was worried.

AT this point...being a BIT of a HYPOCHONDRIAC myself...I swallowed hard and said "Turn around."

An there it was...a swollen lymph node!

And of course, like every CRAZY parent, my mind immediately goes to all the HORRIBLE things that could be wrong.

In these moments-HER short life flashes before my eyes.(As I read that NOW ..It DOES seem crazy!) LOL

All the while she is feeling the swollen bump on her head an looking at me with her SWEET doe eyes, CRYING, saying-"What if its NOT alright? What if it is SERIOUS?"

I put on my best "I'm the MOM, an I KNOW that it will be OK" face an say..."Calm Down, God always protects us."

She UNCONVINCINGLY looks at me and is having a PANIC ATTACK!!!

My 6 year old was standing there having a PANIC ATTACK!

I convinced her to get in the warm bath and BREATHE.

In, Out, In, Out, In, Out......

We washed her hair and stopped the WORLD for our PRECIOUS GIRL.

It really was an Eye-Opening experience for me.

It made me THINK.

It made me STOP and APPRECIATE her.

It made me want to "put a brick on her head", like my Dad used to say.

What a sweet, neurotic, sissy Bear.

So cute, so worried!!!

I love her more than words could say.

My Mom used to say I would NEVER understand what it is like REALLY LOVE someone LIKE THAT- UNTIL I had a child.

NOW- with 4 of my own....I UNDERSTAND that LOVE for a child.


PS.... I took her to the Doctor and he said he thought it was a bug bite and gave her some medicine and cream.

Like sand in an hourglass.....

I just watched "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button".
I watched the whole time thinking..."How SAD".
How hard would it be to have to "meet someone in the middle" of life?
How hard would it be to have to watch the LOVE OF YOUR LIFE walk away?
How UNIMAGINABLE would it be to have to watch everyone you love get old and pass?
In life I guess there are always times when we "just need a minute" away.
There is always that moment as a mother when you want some "ALONE" time.
There is always THAT moment when you want your kids out of YOUR bed.
This movie was such a reminder that time slips thru our fingers like sand.
Tommorow is NEVER promised and sometimes we DONT get a second chance.
As I sit hear and listen to the silence of my home, with everyone tucked away in their beds, I cant help but think of sometime in the future when my life wont be LIKE THIS.
As I sit hear with my sleeping children, my loving husband and a FULL DAY of school and fun ahead of me tommorow....I cant help but let the tears run down my face.
A mix of joy and sadness.
A confusion of happiness and pain.
I cry at the thought of a quiet home where my children no longer sleep, because they have THEIR OWN families..
I cant help but reflect on how MY parents must feel as they watch US grow.
To be honest ...I am scared.
It scares me to get to this point in my life.
I am sooo happy, sometimes I look around and think, "This is the BEST time of my life."
I know that with every day that passes, we watch our children grow.
With every day that passes we watch our parents and family age.
Its a HEAVY reminder that LIFE IS SHORT.
Its a reminder that we are SO FAR from being in control....
God is in control.
Life is a heavy load....But we have to carry it.
Life is sooo short...we have to LIVE it.
So..as I walk thru my home and look upon each of my children and husband tonight, I am going to watch each of them until I have painted a permanent picture in my mind.
I want to remember EVERY DETAIL of tonight.
I want to remember THIS LIFE...just how it is.