The other side of 10 days….

 

It’s THAT time again….

the bags are packed,

the clothes are on the bed,

Daddy is headed out on tour for 10 days.

It’s not a lifetime, I know.

But…

10 days + 4 kids+ the end of summer+ homeschool planning = one crazy mom

I hear all the time, “I don’t know how you do it.. It has to be hard for you when he leaves!!!!.”

And the TRUTH is:

It is hard.

I hate it every time.

I get jealous because he gets to travel.

I get mad because I have to stay home and “deal with everything'”.

I get frustrated and pout.

I pick arguments and then apologize.

It isn’t pretty.

THAT is the TRUTH.

But you know what it ALSO the TRUTH:

I love that about him.

I love that he HAS TO GO.

I love that he has passion.

I love that he still dreams big…at almost 40.

I love that HIS way of making up for it is doing ALL.THE.LAUNDRY. before he goes.

I also love that he also PUTS.IT.ALL.UP. before he goes.

I love that for the 2 days before he leaves he lets me “go on strike” and lay in bed and watch BostonMed while he takes care of EVERYTHING.

I love that he makes sure we have everything we need.

I love him.

And every time they go I look at it like an opportunity…

FOR ME.

I have the opportunity to RISE and prove once again …to myself, that I am STRONG.

I can do it all.

I don’t want to.

But

I

can.

I can be strong and send him off with a kiss and a smile.

Because …

the TRUTH is.

It is part of what makes us strong.

It is part of what we are CALLED TO DO.

I know that God would not call me to something I wasn’t supposed to do.  I trust that there are things and lessons that I have to learn…without my husband.

I trust that on the other side of 10 days I will be strengthened and renewed….

just in time to RUN OUT THE DOOR when he gets back.

Because strong and SANE are 2 different things.

Let’s not get it twisted.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

If you want to see where I –Vibes is going…check Here.

Check these out…..Making these this week

If you have girls…..show them these- so cute for back to school.

Boys…Maybe THIS is more their style.

Also making a ton of THESE.

Torn....and mended.

"We're on our way, We're on our way, Were on our own journey......."

Those are the lyrics to one of I-Vibes(my husbands reggae band) songs on the new CD.

An it PERFECTLY describes what is going on in our lives right now.

The I-Vibes summer tour is here!

The "Lighthouse Veggie Bus" arrived on Friday to the Rasta homestead.

It is great GREEN option that we are really excited about.

The guys are headed from St. Augustine up the East Coast and back.

It will be an experience of a lifetime I am sure...
16 days of driving. on. a . bus. with. 7. guys. and. NO. SHOWER.

Ewwwwwwwww. LOL.

Just time to think and be PRESENT...and do something that most only DREAM of.

An OPPORTUNITY of a lifetime.

An here we are.

At. Home.

It is a bitter sweet feeling for me.

I am always TORN about the touring.

On one hand I WANT Jay to have the sweet experience.

I want him to look back on his life an feel like he had a SUPPORTIVE family that was behind him...THE WHOLE WAY.

No matter what.

I want to give him the "gift" of that experience.

I really do....an believe me..it is not an easy thing to do.

It makes me really search inside myself. It requires me to sift thru hidden emotions...to get to the bottom of WHY I have certain feelings.

At times I feel angry....because I am left here.

At times I feel jealous....because I love to travel.

At times I feel aggravated...because I have to play "single-parent" for weeks and keep up with the homestead without him.

But-

I also KNOW that God puts these things DIRECTLY in my path....
because I will either stumble or conquer.
He sticks me RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE of situations that I NEED to be faced with...
because I am stubborn and refuse to learn things easily.
He KNOWS me, and the scary dark places in my heart....and knows I am rebelious.
He knows the lessons I desperately need to learn...because he MADE ME.

He knows that I need to conquer my anger, fix my jealous heart, and be more grateful for the "aggravation".

And I am LEARNING to be grateful for ALL that.

I am focusing on HERE...an counting own the days till my love returns.

Giving thanks for the lessons that will be learned.