Daily….

Warp speed….

That is the speed I feel like my life has taken on lately.

Before my eyes my kids grow and change.

Before my eyes they emerge as these little “almost-grown, free-thinking beings”…with TONS of emotion and attitude.

Lately we have been battling the pre-teen beast.

You know….

The one that appears and stomps across the room when they don’t get the answer they want.

The one that rolls his eyes when told to do something…NOW.

We are learning that as these people grow…the way we need to parent them changes.

What worked for a child at 3 may not work at 9.

They are different people at 9..more emotional, more complex.

Plenty of times these days I have said, “Why are you crying??? do you KNOW???”

And most of the time…..

THEY

DON’T.

They only know that they are emotional…at that moment.

It is my job to teach them how to deal with those emotions and then teach them how to THINK about WHY those emotions  are there.

I try to teach them to look inward….to think about WHY those emotions are manifesting themselves.

As they have grown I have learned that-

What works for one…..

WILL

NOT

WORK

FOR

ALL.

Today my kids are 11,9,8, and 6.

Sometimes we are SPEWING emotion from all angles…

and sometimes we are CALM and COLLECTED.

And other times….

WE are the ones that need to learn the lessons.

Sometimes we are the ones that are SPEWING and need to figure out WHY…

Everyday that passes teaches me more and more about both MYSELF and my KIDS.

Thank goodness for daily lessons and having eyes open enough to SEE them.

a LONG way……

If I have said it once….

I have said it a THOUSAND times.

LIFE

is

a

JOURNEY.

There have been PLENTY of times in life when I was …

younger

less aware

naïve

or

even self-rightous

and thought , “I would never do THAT”.

Well….as I have gotten OLDER and more experienced I have realized that in life -YOU NEVER KNOW.

When you are “young” …you don’t realize that things you do NOW …may not be the things you will do 10,5, or even 1 year from now.

You don’t realize that the things you “think” you know …can CHANGE.

But they DO….

Today at Disney….we let Zeek buy a toy gun.

I know , I know…

We have come a LONG WAY.

My dad will be soo proud.

He is 11 and just seemed old enough…or maybe we have just LOOSENED UP that much.

I wonder what I will be doing in 5 more years????

We will see. We will see.

Right on time….

Sometimes we are so late on things it isn’t even funny.

Last night was the perfect example.

Easter was a week and a half  ago …but LAST NIGHT…we made resurrection rolls.

You know…the ones you are SUPPOSED to make on Easter morning.

Yeah…we made those last night at 8pm.

AND

We turned it into a science lesson(because we are “late” on a few of those also.)

LOL.

We talked about Christ and then we talked molecules.

It was a lesson for me in NOT WORRYING.

Because Late is better than NEVER.

ALWAYS.

TRUTH…

Truth.

Sometimes it is so evasive.

Often, there is a fog that surrounds truth…you really have to strain sometimes to see it.

It is true for all of us in one way or another.

For me, my life and my blog ….I want the TRUTH to be easy to see.

Actually…I want it to RADIATE.

So…

when I KNOW that people think I “have it together”..I feel the NEED to set everyone straight.

when people assume I am super “hippy-nice”….I want to tell them I am NOT.

I mean…don’t get me wrong…I am nice enough.

Just not “hippy nice”…you know the “I love everyone, nothing bothers me, super go-with-the-flow” nice.

Nope…none of that in me..

at all.

My husband says I am stern. hard.

Don’t get me wrong…I LOVE my family, friends, people in general..but I have limits. and I am not afraid to say it.

See….the TRUTH is evasive , right????

And as far as “having it all together”….

ha.

I am as crazy as they come.

On a daily I think, “There is NO WAY I am capable or WORTHY of this task.”

I fail miserably- daily…and then ask for forgiveness.

My life in no way “flows easily”…sometimes- I feel like I am swimming upstream.

I am grateful to a pretty level-headed husband who can talk me from the ledge and then shine perspective on it afterwards.

and

I am thankful for friends and family who love me for me…no matter how much I struggle in life.

but mostly

I am humbled by the fact that

the

TRUTH

is…..

God knows my depths and knows exactly what I am DESTINED to do.

The TRUTH is…

I did LESS THAN NOTHING to deserve this life.

I actually did a pretty good job of trying to sabatoge it..and he still GAVE it to me.

Because….

the TRUTH is..

forgiveness is REAL.

I am proof.

Sometimes I am crazy, sometimes I am not worthy..

but

I

am

forgiven.

TRUTH.

A Rebel is Rising.

For years I have been raising a boy who was sweet, endearing, and rarely argumentative child.
Zeek is my first born..he is 11 1/ 2 and is as LOVING as they come.
I seriously couldn't ask for a better first-born.
He is a PRIZE.

But lately...
he has a certain "sass"....
Just a little "smirk"...
A tad bit of "tone"....
A rebelious "look"s deep in his eyes..
I can feel it.
We are comming upon puberty.
We are FAST APPROACHING "Crazy-ville".
We are speeding straight ahead.

I know that it was bound to happen..
They all grow up and
if
we
are
LUCKY...they DO REBEL.

Because:
I raise them to think for themselves and RISE.
I raise them to REBEL against all things ungodly.
I raise them to SPEAK THEIR MINDS and OBJECT when they disagree.
In hopes that one day they will be STRONG ENOUGH.
To Rise....
ON
THEIR
OWN.


But- I starts here..AT HOME.
THESE are their TRAINING GROUNDS.
This is where they learn to pick their battles, and hold their tounges.
This is where they learn that GOD serves the best revenge and Karma is real.

So THESE DAYS-
When the rebel in him rises...

I'll do MY job and
I'll meet him..
toe
to
toe.

Because I know that In the end...
We are all SOULdiers.
And SOMETIMES...
WE MUST RISE.