Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children, and no theories. ~John Wilmot
Perspective is a funny thing.
When we are wide eyed, and fresh to the world....
we think we KNOW it ALL.
We think that if only given the chance...
WE could solve it.
As if "it"(whatever it is) could be EASILY solved.
As a young girl, I remember telling my parents that, "I would NEVER do "THAT" to my kids."
or
"I would never say "that" to my kids"....LOL. We think we know it all.
And really...without going thru the TRENCHES of parenthood you DO NOT KNOW.
Until you are eye to eye in an UGLY standoff with your beloved child...you have NO IDEA.
Until you are given NO CHOICE but to spank...you won't "get it"..
Until YOU are responsible for the shepherding and training of YOUR children...you CAN'T.
Only LIFE EXPERIENCE can teach you those things.
Only being a parent and loving a child soooooo much that you think you might BURST...can do that.
I remember my parents saying to me, "You will NEVER know how much I love you...until you have a child of your own."
or
"I will ALWAYS love you...no matter what you DO."
Of course I at the time was a know-it-all BRAT who thought I knew EVERYTHING...so-those words were lost on me then.
But NOW- they echo for me like we are in an ampitheatre.
I hear it clearly today.
I understand it.
It resonates.
My Dad said to me yesterday(sorry Dad-he hates to be mentioned), "Jana-I love your blog.Is that what it is called? Anyway- sometimes I read it and think,I didnt know THAT" or "Why are we talking about this?" and sometimes I think, "HOW could this child have come from ME?But....whether we agree or not...I always love reading about it."
It made me feel blessed to have parents who still LOVE me so much.
I mean really...I have done some "not-so-loveable" things in my life.
But just like they told me when I was a child....
They will love me NO MATTER WHAT.
They have loved me my WHOLE LIFE, with a love that I NOW know - should not take for granted.
And thankfully they taught ME to love my kids the same way....
Unconditionally.
But- the PAST has also taught me that no matter what I say or do....
no matter how HARD I try to explain it...
my kids won't understand.
They can't.
Until they love a child of their OWN.
3 comments:
This made me cry ( : In a sweet way. Your Dad is adorable! I miss mine so much. I 110% feel this one. thanks again for sharing my gifted bff<3
Jana, your blog often makes me teary eyed--- and many times I can't wait for your Dad to read it. It's amazing how much we love our children, and they finally know how much----they know through the love they have for their own! It's a beautiful revelation!
This is so true. It goes all the way back, too. I never knew how much my parents loved me, til your Dad was born.
We are all like you were, we think we know it all. I still think some time, that if the world was run my way, it would all be OK. Or maybe it would be OK if only Mothers ran it. What do you think?
Love you so much. Mema
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