New times….

“Life is a thing, when you learn…you grow.”….Damian Marley

………………………………………………………………………………………………

As I grew up- I lived my life a “certain” way.

I was rebellious …without a reason.

I was so blessed …I was BLIND.

I was had everything I ever needed or wanted….

Yet…I found it necessary to SELF-DESTRUCT.

No matter what anyone said to me ….no matter how much they tried.

Then….

In ONE MOMENT….

I was forgiven. God entered my life and SAVED me.  My eyes were opened and I could see clearly.

From THAT MOMENT on….

My life COMPLETELY CHANGED.

It was NOTHING LESS than life changing, crazy stuff.

I went from WILD and REBELLIOUS to STUNNED.

I was so new to my new life that when we started having kids we decided that we were not going to participate in the typical “American-culture” based holidays.

I felt like I needed to breathe.

I needed to RE-think everything that I had known or thought.

I needed to push the “RESET” button.

God was new to me….not that he hadn’t BEEN THERE the whole time.

Not that he didn’t SEE everything.

I had just

NEVER

NOTICED

HIM.

I had never taken HIM into account when making my decisions….

And when I finally DID notice- I decided I wasn’t sure what was right or wrong…so we made a decision that we would take a HARD look at the holidays and THEN decide.

So there we sat for about 10 years.

I spent my time cacooned into MY LIFE.

I was busy growing babies, nursing, changing diapers, raising and teaching kids, studying myself  and being a stay at home mom.

The kids were little and and we were kinda just ..

IN

OUR

LIFE….

SETTLED.

But in the last couple of years, we have had some BIG CHANGES in our lives.

I started working …which brought me OUT into the world again.

and

the kids GREW UP…they are now-

IN

THE

WORLD

themselves.

They are in dance classes, flag football, library game days, and sleepovers with friends.

We are ALL more exposed to the world.

So life has changed.

I have loosened up….I have found myself  realizing that I CAN walk the line between

THEN

and

NOW.

I can teach my kids to navigate in the world…

And I can LEARN to navigate the world…despite MY FEAR.

I can loosen up and let a little of the old me out…I can learn to LET GO.

So this past weekend ….I made an effort.

And it is SAFE TO SAY….I succeeded!!!