Friday, April 5, 2013

Concrete Boots….

boot

Yuck.

Blah.

Dreary.

Melancholy.

Tired.

Those are the words I would use to describe my attitude the last few months.I have felt like I have been standing in quicksand. Struggling. 

Clawing my way thru life.

Seriously…in the TRENCHES of life.

NOT winning.

I just haven't been able to shake it.

I have thought about it and thought about it.

What I have come up with is THIS:

This has been BY FAR my hardest year of homeschooling.   I think that up until now…I have never had ALL 4 kids “IN SCHOOL” at one time.  Up until now it has been 1, then 2, then 3…now 4!!.!!  And- they were all in elementary school.   Easy Peasy!!  Now….we are ALL  ACTIVELY PARTICIPATING in our school day.  And we aren't “watered down” with the ABC’s or crafts really.  We  are all  REALLY doing all our work DAILY. 

So…there's THAT pressure.

Add THAT to:

kids who have gotten OUT of a routine

and

have started to talk back and not listen

and the there is the ARGUING….

HOLY SHIT the arguing.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!

That is some HEAVY shit.  Like carrying weighty heavy bricks …walking uphill.  In concrete boots.

Don’t get me wrong…we have good days.

But-

sometimes when I let the devil seep in…. I doubt myself and I fail.

Or

at least I feel like I do.

And isn’t that the same thing really????

Pair that with the last couple of months of having more BAD days than GOOD days finally made me BREAK.

I couldn’t take it anymore.

I MIGHT have had a mini-meltdown.

I MIGHT have had a moment.

MAYBE.

A moment when I just decided to FIGHT.

I decided to take my life back from the CHAOS and STRESS that had been building.

I

would

take

it

no

longer.

So I sat them down and explained EXACLTY how this was going to go down…..

From now on we would:

1. get back on a schedule.  Like a real schedule.  A timed schedule.  SHOCKING…I know!.

2. they would start to LISTEN.  Like not “half-ass” listen….like REALLY listen.  The 1st time.  Not the 50th.

3.  They would STOP arguing and bickering.  They WOULD be thankful for each other and GRATEFUL for their brothers and sisters.  Because they are a freakin’ gift!!!

4.  They would make school easier on me by COOPERATING and DOING their schoolwork.  Whatever schoolwork I tell them to do!!  They would be PATIENT with ME.  Because I have 4 students doing 4 different things ….at all  times.  JEEZ!!!!!.

I EMPHASIZED that this WOULD be in their “best interest”.

I STRESSED that they SHOULD cooperate. 

OR

ELSE.

It had to be done.  The way it WAS…was going to KILL me.

It was time.

I just realized that some things needed to change in my life in order for me to get thru these years.

I needed to take back control and do what I KNEW needed to be done.

Make the changes that needed to be made.

Do the hard things that are so simple.

Just do what I know in my heart is right for my SOUL.

Put one foot in front of the other…

even when your boots are made of CONCRETE.

Because even concrete boots will crumble….

when walked in enough.

THANK GOD!!!

stop

8 comments:

amy said...

I've seen the episode of Wife Swap you guys were on a couple of times in snippets here and there. I'm sure you are more than used to people finding you this way, but I just wanted to tell you that I think your family is absolutely beautiful. It's unfortunate that people had negative things to say about your family, because as far as I can see, your children are happier and healthier than the average kid these days, and they love and care for each other without hesitation. That alone proves that you're doing it right. You and your husband are awesome! I wish you lived close enough to be friends; you're my kind of people!

Anonymous said...

Can you shave your legs or no? I'm asking be wise you can't cut your hair and your husband doesn't seem to shave.

Anonymous said...

*because

momlovestosing said...

What really helped our household is Dave Ramsey's book EntreLeadership. It's a book written for, just like it sounds, entrepreneurs and leaders, but there are a lot of parenting skills and qualities that come from this book. My husband borrowed it from the library, and now I'm reading it.

We also have regular family meetings, ALL the family, not just one parent, written agendas (talk only about what's on the agenda, not tangent stuff not on the list). Our first meeting lasted one hour, and everyone got their own agenda sheet. Following meetings (twice weekly) last now only 15-20 minutes.

I think it would help. We home school five children. I work part time as does my husband. I try to run a tight ship, but there can only be one Captain on this happy ship: Dear Husband.

God bless you!

Anonymous said...

Hi there, I enjoy reading through your article. I like to write a little comment to support you.


Feel free to visit my webpage: Abercrombie Et Fitch

Anonymous said...

Useful info. Lucky me I discovered your website by chance, and I'm surprised why this twist of fate did not happened earlier! I bookmarked it.

Here is my weblog - Louis Vuitton Outlet Online

Anonymous said...

We are a group of volunteers and starting a new scheme
in our community. Your web site offered us with helpful information to work on.
You've performed an impressive task and our entire group shall be thankful to you.

My web site: Louis Vuitton Bags

Great Life Photography said...

Oh, I'm just reading this more than a month after you posted it. Hang in there. I admire what you are doing: Homeschooling! You are AMAZING! Your children are AMAZING. Your family is AMAZING!!!!