Monday, November 12, 2012



A few weeks ago we were having a nice leisurely family evening.

We had a great dinner, and were just sitting down to watch a little TV.  All was going well…..


Sheba  came into the living room.

She had a paper, a pen, and ….


Like- the scale out of my bathroom that actually has written on it in PERMANENT MARKER, “You are MORE than this number.”




The one I WANT to not care about.

The one I TELL my daughters doesn’t matter.



What the hell?

“Mom…I’m making a CHART of what everyone weighs!”

Inside I cringed.

I think I actually threw up in my mouth.

But she was so happy and ready and smart and cute.

While the rest of the family WILLINGLING hopped on the scale…

I planned my “escape route”…

How would I avoid MY TURN?

One by one Sheba called them into the kitchen and they weighed themselves.

Then sheba wrote their names and their weight on her “chart”.



They were all so pleased and WILLING.

Jay actually said, “WOW!!!  184!!!  I have never weighed THAT much! SWEET!”



Big deal…I weighed 185 when I went into the hospital with Zeek.





He acted like he wanted a medal.

I wanted to slap him.


Not really…well, kinda.

Then it was my turn.

I tried to say that I didn’t want to participate..

I was cooking dinner.

I was cleaning.

I was busy.

I tried them ALL.

They weren’t buying it.

They wanted a number on the chart.


Shashamane actually SAID, “Mom…You say that we are beautiful NO MATTER WHAT.  You say it shouldn’t matter what you weigh. GET. ON. THE. SCALE.”

Seriously? Some days I think…"It was so much easier when they didn’t SPEAK.”

So I faced my fears.

I got on the scale.

I did it.

Right after I sent them ALL in the other room to watch a “really funny TV show”….

I got on the scale..

Then I subtracted 20 pounds and wrote down “my weight” on the chart.

I mean really….

I love myself and all.

I want to set a great example.

I WANT to not care.

But I am REAL.

I am a work in progress.

And let’s be real…

I haven’t made THAT much progress.



Anonymous said...

I hope for your sake Shasha does not read this one day and realize that her own mother cannot practice what she preaches. Subtracting 20 lbs may not seem like much to you but to those girls it could mean the difference between loving yourself as you are or being ashamed of a little extra padding.

Peach said...

She is right & so wise, beyond her years.. you are more than that number but being someone that has struggled with her weight all her life I understand the little fib. Even though you are younger than me I look up to you. Jana you are a beautiful person inside & out. You are raising beautiful children with such loving hearts. Remember, they (we)all love you despite that number. ((Hugs & Love))

Love you, Sheri K.

Christina Bennett said...

Anon, Jana is being utterly open and honest. One day her girls will look back at this and know that their mother is human. She tries, she wins, and she fails sometimes too. None of us are perfect and I think this was more a lesson of attempting to move past what others think of us and more on what we think about ourselves.

Jana said...

I love it when ANONYMOUS people try and pass judgments. If you know knw that I am NOTHING but real and honest on my blog. One day my girls will be women...and they will understand.

Jana said...

BTW....My hair prob weighs close to 20 pounds. <3

IrieMomma said...

Great post. I wouldn't mind weighing myself in front of the girls, but I wouldn't want Josh to see :) The girls made me get on a scale at Publix once with Josh there. That was torture. Love you!

Anonymous said...

Girl u are hilarious