Comfortably Numb???????

 

My friend Heather has been in Haiti on a mission trip for about a month now.

She is an amazing woman with 4 kids and she is on a “mission” ….in more ways than one.

She lived in Texas her whole life …until she moved to Haiti.

As I  read her blog I can’t help but be “taken back” to our days in Costa Rica.

For us there were THOSE days also.

Days when we  had to  re-adjust our lives.

Washing clothes by hand, figuring out HOW to wash dishes, how to EAT, and simply STAY ALIVE.

Days when REAL LIFE stared me in the face.

When poverty lived just around the corner, and struggle was a DAILY.

As I read her blog there is something that swells inside me….

I can’t figure it out.

As I read her blog today I said to Jay , “Is it weird that I MISS the 3rd world struggle?”

I sat there staring at the computer screen pondering WHAT this feeling is…searching my heart for the rhyme or reason.

I am blessed to be BACK here and am BLESSED to KNOW where our next meal will come from….

BUT

I feel ODDLY unsettled by how “comfortable “ I am here.

I feel like we(as Americans) can lose sight of what REAL LIFE is like for some people.

I feel like sometimes we complain about about things sooooo UNWORTHY of complaints.

We didn’t walk to a well today.

Our  families  are not starving.

We live in a homes…not  tent cities.

We  have NOTHING to complain about.

Yet…

We do.

And as Americans I think we tuck those uncomfortable  things safely away in the BACK of our minds…..

only thinking about them when CONVENIENT.

I don’t want to be  DISOBEDIENT to God.

He says :

Deut. 15:7. If there is a poor man among you, one of your brothers, in any of the towns of the land which the LORD your God is giving you, you shall not harden your heart, nor close your hand to your poor brother; but you shall freely open your hand to him, and generously lend him sufficient for his need in whatever he lacks.

I want to live like THAT!!!!!!

I want to BURN the veil the COVERS my eyes!

I want to be obedient and AWARE of the REAL LIFE situations around me.

I want to be part of Jah’s soldiers.

The ones who defend the WEAK and the POOR.

The ones who STAND UP for what is right BECAUSE it is right.

In Proverbs it says this:

Prov. 31:8 Open your mouth for the dumb, for the rights of all the unfortunate. Open your mouth, judge righteously, and defend the rights of the afflicted and needy.

I think THAT  what I miss about 3rd world living is …..

the fact that EVERYONE in a 3rd world country is at least AWARE of   REAL LIFE STRUGGLE….

they may not LIVE it …but they SEE it.

It isn’t tucked away in the BACK of their minds ….

I want to keep those things FIRMLY PLANTED in my life and the lives of my family.

I want to live a KINGDOM LIFE.

A life that is DICTATED by the LOVE of GOD.

A life that is MOVED by the LOVE of GOD.

A life that is BLESSED by the LOVE of GOD.

Jer. 7:5-7. "For, if you truly amend your ways and your deeds, if you truly practice justice between a man and his neighbor, if you do not oppress the alien, the orphan, and the widow, and do not shed innocent blood in this place, nor walk after other gods to your own ruin, then I will let you dwell in this place, in the land that I gave to your fathers forever and ever."

FIRST…….forever.

Birth order is a funny thing.

Something WE have no control over.

ABSOLUTELY …no control.

It is like a FUNNY RIDDLE you dont figure out until you are IN IT.

Only God knows why he chose a firstborn to be a firstborn, middle child to be a middle child, or the baby to be the baby.

He always has a MASTER PLAN.

What is the saying,"We make plans and God laughs.”

Lately we have been having LOTS of “Why ME???” discussions.

You know ..the ones where the kids ask questions like:

“But…WHY ME?”

“Why do I always have to help the other kids?”

“Why is it always MEEEEEEEEEE?”

And my answer is ALWAYS the same…”Take it up with GOD.”

But Lately ……

Zeek has been getting REALLy upset because he THINKS he has to do SO MUCH MORE that the other kids.

He DOSEN”T …But thinks he does!

(RIGHT ON SCHEDULE for a 9 year old boy who is the oldest of 4.)

LOL

And because he has been getting SOOOOOO EMOTIONAL lately,sometimes I can’t tell if he’s JUST EMOTIONAL or if he really has SOMETHING TO SAY about the situation.

I am starting to realize that he might need more than the , “Take it up with God” approach.

When I see him REALLY struggle with a situation it makes me want to cradle him and snuggle him into “feeling better”, but at the same time I understand that we all are in the EXACT PLACE we are meant to be.

Every situation we are put into…. God KNEW was comming.

Every time we struggle with “our place” in life…there is a lesson to be learned.

Wherever we are …we are MEANT to be.

And as a mother to these sweet babies…I also have to remember that I was GIVEN these children.

I was BLESSED with THIS situation.

I MUST have wisdom to share with these youth.

It must be MY DESTINY to teach these TRUTHS to my children.

It makes me REALIZE that I have been put in MY PLACE.

For a REASON…

BY GOD.

And still SOMETIMES….”Take it up with GOD”  isn’t enough for me either.

Sometimes it takes me REALLY thinking about it in my mind.

Sometimes …I need to spend a minute in meditation.

THEN

SOMETIMES……..

THAT is when I figure it out.

I figure out that the wisdom I am trying to teach my children is ALREADY inside me.

The “solutions” that work for the kids also work for me.

Walkabout??? Already????

Wikipedia says that THIS is the definition of a walkabout:

"Walkabout refers to a rite of passage during which male Australian Aborigines would undergo a journey during adolescence and live in the wilderness for a period."

Well...as a parent of a man-child I knew that SOMEDAY one of the boys would want to go on some sort of "walkabout".

And ...as a Mother I always knew that I would NOT BE READY-whenever that day came!

And just as I'd imagined ...it happened last night.

Jay had a gig and Zeek stayed there with him to help the band load up the equipment, roll cords, break down drums, etc.

THIS is a hard transition for ME...but- he is getting older and NEEDS to gain some sort of independence. Sniff sniff. LOL.

He JUST started staying and helping in the last year.

The other kids used to complain with the TYPICAL responses of , "But, Mom!!!! I want to stay TOO!!!!!"

or, the ever lasting , "MOM!!!! Thats not FAIR!!!!!"

But, after a few discussions about how Zeek is the oldest so he will ALWAYS be the FIRST to do things...FOREVER. They usually quiet down.

When they keep arguing, I easiely shut their mouths with a quick, "I did not make THAT decision. If you have a problem with THAT ONE, you need to talk to GOD!"

Which of course...stops them in their tracks! LOL

So JUST THIS has been a slow transition for us all...the kids are growing.
we have kinda exited the baby stage...its time for some independance.

BUT...I was NOT PREPARED when they came home last night and PROPOSITIONED ME.

I promise you this was not a RANDOM WORK.

THIS was PLANNED.

They came to me in the kitchen.

Zeek under Jays arm.
UNITED.
They were there for a PURPOSE.

I'm not really sure how it started but ALL I REMEMBER are the words "Tennessee" and "reggae festival".

It was all a blur....
And the next thing I know was that they were trying to convince me that Zeek should be able to take his first "WALKABOUT".

In this situation the "walkabout" being: a reggae festival in Tennessee where they are camping by a river. Jay will be playing and Zeek will be "a roadie"....He will wave the flag on stage when Jay is playing..just like always. They will leave on Friday and return on Sunday.

As you can imagine..JUST the thought made my heart immediately start to beat faster and my mind race!

My answer: Ill have to PRAY on that one!!!

In my heart I know it is ok.
It is probably the BEST "Walkabout" a Rasta family could ask for.

So ...I guess it is time.

And everyone is doing EXACTLY what they are supposed to do.

The Father and Son are SUPPOSED to try and convince the Mother that IT IS "THE RIGHT" TIME.
And the Mother is SUPPOSED to feel that it could NEVER be "THE RIGHT TIME".

Good news folks....WERE RIGHT ON SCHEDULE!!!!!!!!!!!

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!

Mothers Day Thoughts.....

On this Day we, as Mothers, will get beautiful flowers, homemade cards, candy, lots of presents.

We will be told that we are loved,appreciated, and thanked.

All of these gifts are sweet and appreciated...WE are loved and appreciated.

I feel blessed to be loved and appreciated..but I also am reflecting on what kind of MOTHER I aspire to be.

I want to be worthy of GODS praise also.

When thinking of this 1 thing came to my mind...Psalm 31!

Happy Mothers Day to all of you AMAZING MOTHERS!!!


Psalm 31:10-31
10 [b]Who can find a virtuous and capable wife?
She is more precious than rubies.
11 Her husband can trust her,
and she will greatly enrich his life.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She finds wool and flax
and busily spins it.
14 She is like a merchant’s ship,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household
and plan the day’s work for her servant girls.

16 She goes to inspect a field and buys it;
with her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She is energetic and strong,
a hard worker.
18 She makes sure her dealings are profitable;
her lamp burns late into the night.

19 Her hands are busy spinning thread,
her fingers twisting fiber.
20 She extends a helping hand to the poor
and opens her arms to the needy.
21 She has no fear of winter for her household,
for everyone has warm[c] clothes.

22 She makes her own bedspreads.
She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns.
23 Her husband is well known at the city gates,
where he sits with the other civic leaders.
24 She makes belted linen garments
and sashes to sell to the merchants.

25 She is clothed with strength and dignity,
and she laughs without fear of the future.
26 When she speaks, her words are wise,
and she gives instructions with kindness.
27 She carefully watches everything in her household
and suffers nothing from laziness.

28 Her children stand and bless her.
Her husband praises her:
29 “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world,
but you surpass them all!”

30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last;
but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.
31 Reward her for all she has done.
Let her deeds publicly declare her praise.
Thank you Mama - Sizzla

Reflection...

Sometimes when Jay is out of town I am tested the most.
I get it.
I understand why.
I guess I should be used to it.
And usually I have to REALLY reach for patience and perspective.
It is just a 24 hour NON-STOP task with 4 all by myself.
But at the end of the day...every night, it seems to fall into place.
Thats when I usually have a chance to lay my burdens down.
Thats when I have a chance to lay and pray about the things that were hard for me that day.
Thats when I can reflect on the day and am usually full of regret about how I handled this or that.
But that is when God speaks to me.....Or thats when I listen.
Thats when He uses the reflection to teach me about tommorow.
Thats when He usually opens my heart to His voice.