Already????

I have a memory from when I was about 9 years old.

I was in PE and one of the BOYS in class told me that my legs were HAIRY.

They were.

I knew they were...but had never REALIZED that OTHERS KNEW they were.

It was traumatic because I felt judged and deminished.

I felt like I wasn't SUPPOSED to have hair on my legs.

It felt like I wasn't quite ADDING UP to all those "pretty women" I had seen on TV and in magazines.

You know the ones with the flawless skin and tiny waists.

It was a reality that would HAUNT me for years.

It set a "tone" for my life...for many years.

A MOMENT in time that shaped my life.

Soooooooooooooo............

The other day I told Shasha to go get dressed, we were headed to FIELD DAY for our co-op.

Keep in mind...It was 95 degrees- In the shade!!!!

She came back dressed in red shirt, blue jean shorts, and a pair of red leggings.

"Shasha...It is going to be HOT!!! Don't you want to take the leggings off??"

She looked at me with a look only a MOTHER KNOWS.

A look that says, "I'm hiding SOMETHING."

"No, Ill keep them on." she said.

"But Shasha...it is HOT!!! Why don't you want to take your tights off?"

She again tried to hide behind her eyes...."Becauuussseeee.........I just DON'T"

I KNEW there was something wrong...I KNEW she was holding something in.

I just wanted her to LET IT OUT....TELL ME what was wrong.

"Shasha -I can TELL that something is bothering you.You can tell me anything.I love you more than anything in the world. Don't ever be scared. I love you."

I felt a CONNECTION to my parents at that moment...I was feeling what they felt, I knew how they had felt when they had said those SAME WORDS to me. It was echoing....thru time.

Then she said something to me that

SHOOK
MY
WORLD.

"My legs are so UGLY!!!"

My heart stopped.
I was not ready.

It hasn't been long enough...
She is still a BABY.
Only 8 1/2 years old.
I AM NOT READY.....

I fought back the tears and said, "Shasha!!! They are not! You have very pretty legs. They are legs made especially FOR YOU. You are EXACTLY the way that GOD intended for you to be. Beautiful."

She looked at me and said doubtfully, "No they aren't! They have scabs all over them."

I quickly responded with, "Shashamane, when we get to the field day today...look at your friends legs. They are all scarred up and scabby. Look at MY LEGS!!! They are the same way. That is the way they were intended to be. We aren't girls who stay OUT of the DIRT! We are girls who can get DIRTY...and still wear cute clothes doing it. God made you exactly the way you are. You are PERFECT. There will be times in life when the WORLD will make you feel like a FAILURE. But you are SPECIAL. and BEAUTIFUL....no matter WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE ON THE OUTSIDE."

She smiled.

We laughed and talked some more....we shared a moment.

BUT-

It was such a sad day for me.

A day when I realized that no matter what I do to PROTECT her....the outside world WILL have an impact on her.

Society WILL make her doubt herself.

She will sometimes feel LESS THAN ENOUGH.

All of our daughters will.

They will feel the pressure of the world ...just like we did.

It is inevitable.

It made me realize that I am in a WAR.

Not an OBVIOUS war.
Not a war fought with guns and ammunition.
Not a war where you will see BLOOD.

It is a quiet, slow, creeping WAR.
A war of the MIND.
It is a war that is fought between a girl and the world she lives in.

It is a war that has to be fought with ENCOURAGEMENT, KIND WORDS, and LOVE.
DAILY.

It has to be fought by ALWAYS letting her BE HER...no matter what that means.

No matter what the WORLD thinks....she SHOULD be.

It is a battle...a battle for their self- confidence.

That day made me realize that I am on the FRONT LINES of this WAR...

ALREADY.

3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— 4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. 1 Peter 3:3-4

Pink tights???????

 

On Tuesday, Shasha started ballet!!!!

It was so cute.

She took dance camp this summer…”just to be SURE” she LIKED dance.

Thankfully….she LOVED it!!!!

So yesterday …at 3:30 she had her 1st ballet class.

And in TRUE Shashamane fashion she was “concerned” because she doesn't like PINK-and the tights she HAS to wear were PINK TIGHTS.

I told her MANY times that PINK TIGHTS are what REAL DANCE studios want you to wear for ballet.

And MANY times before Tuesday, she asked me to call the studio to ASK if she could wear BLACK tights.

She is RELENTLESS….I wonder where she gets THAT from?????? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.    LOL

I KNEW that they WANTED her to wear PINK tights and asked her, “Shasha-what if EVERYONE in the class is wearing PINK tights???????”

Her response….In true REBEL fashion: “I don’t CARE!!!!!!  I’ll bring my BLACK tights in my bag!”

Gotta LOVE that girl…..She is MORE like ME every day!

So…when we got to the studio.

You guessed it:   EVERYONE was wearing PINK TIGHTS!!

I dropped her off and took the other kids to run a few errands.

When I got back I watched as she stood uniformly in a line and practiced her “plies” and skipped across the floor.

I had tears in my eyes as I watched her.

Dance was my childhood LOVE and it makes me sooooo happy that she has chosen THIS art.

THEN …when we got home Sheba said to me, “Momma, when will it be night?”

I said, “Soon…why???”

Her response, “Because TOMMOROW…I start dance!”

It melted my heart……………….

Selah Eve is 4!!!!

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

Saturday was Selahs Birthday.

I cant believe she is 4..which means that in 10 weeks Sheba will be 4!!!!

How can that be????

It seems like yesterday that they were born!!!

Sunshyne took all the girls on a CARRIAGE RIDE thru downtown St. Augustine!!!

It was sooo sweet for her to invite the girls...AND she bought them all a princess dress.

Thank You Sunshyne!!!!!

A hard pill to swallow....

DISCLAIMER: This post will be a "Hard pill to swallow"...It is for those women out there who are in a LASTING RELATIONSHIP with a man. Please no emails from all you SINGLE LADIES who HAVE to hold it down on your own...MUCH RESPECT TO YOU.....You keep being INDEPENDENT!!! XOXO




1Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives,
2when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.
3Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. 4Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.
5For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands,
6like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear. 1 Peter 3:1-6

I KNOW, I KNOW..."SUBMISSION"!!!!!
As women we are TRAINED to be DISGUSTED by this word.
Then add in that you are supposed to SUBMIT to YOUR HUSBAND????
There was a time in my life that I those were FIGHTING WORDS!!!
I am trying to TRAIN MYSELF and MY daughters to NOT BE FEARFUL of something that GOD has called them to do.

22 The man who finds a wife finds a treasure,
and he receives favor from the Lord. Proverbs 18:22



Like I tell ALL the kids..."Its not MY rule, Its GODS rule."
Hard to accept ...I know.
Hard to accept because we are REBELS at heart.
We WANT to REBEL.
We SHOULDN'T ...but We DO!!!!

There have been times when the kids ask Jay for something and he says "NO".
Then they come to me and ask the same question.
I ALWAYS ask, "Did you ask your DAD?"
When the answer is "He said NO!" (Insert WHINING!)
I say..(no matter what MY answer WOULD HAVE BEEN),
"If he already said "NO", then THAT is the answer!"
Then I have to explain that HE is the MAN of the house and what he says goes! NO MATTER WHAT!!
We HAVE to RESPECT his decisions.

It our role as women to be his "helper".
In Genesis 2 it says:
18 The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."

Helper, NOT EQUAL.
Hard to hear...BUT TRUE!!!
Its a hard pill for an "Middle class American" girl like me(and MOST of my friends) to swallow.
It goes AGAINST ...well,just about EVERYTHING we were taught.


Trust me ..Im a normal girl....There are times when I feel the rebel in me flare up and its all I can do but to JUMP out of my skin,,
BUT....I try and remember...
This is THE test!!!~And what a test it is!!!!

Remembering that our SUBMISSION should be based on GODS law...BASICALLY - how we act shouldn't DEPEND on how our husbands act.
How we act SHOULD be based on GODS LAW.
It should be based on what WE as Women are CALLED to do FOR our husbands.

4 A wife of noble character is her husband's crown,
but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones. Proverbs 12:4

I want my daughters to understand that we are CALLED to do this.
It is a BLESSING to RESPECT our GOD-LOVING husbands or boyfriends.
What society tells them is that ~Its MORE COOL to be a REBEL.
Its not as cool to be submisive.

I want them to know that there is a GENTLE GRACE in letting your husband lead your family.

I want them to know that ..in these times...We ARE the rebels!!!!