Friday, April 10, 2009

A hard pill to swallow....

DISCLAIMER: This post will be a "Hard pill to swallow"...It is for those women out there who are in a LASTING RELATIONSHIP with a man. Please no emails from all you SINGLE LADIES who HAVE to hold it down on your own...MUCH RESPECT TO YOU.....You keep being INDEPENDENT!!! XOXO

pill Pictures, Images and Photos

1Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives,
2when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.
3Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. 4Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.
5For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands,
6like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear. 1 Peter 3:1-6

As women we are TRAINED to be DISGUSTED by this word.
Then add in that you are supposed to SUBMIT to YOUR HUSBAND????
There was a time in my life that I those were FIGHTING WORDS!!!
I am trying to TRAIN MYSELF and MY daughters to NOT BE FEARFUL of something that GOD has called them to do.

22 The man who finds a wife finds a treasure,
and he receives favor from the Lord. Proverbs 18:22

Like I tell ALL the kids..."Its not MY rule, Its GODS rule."
Hard to accept ...I know.
Hard to accept because we are REBELS at heart.
We SHOULDN'T ...but We DO!!!!

There have been times when the kids ask Jay for something and he says "NO".
Then they come to me and ask the same question.
I ALWAYS ask, "Did you ask your DAD?"
When the answer is "He said NO!" (Insert WHINING!)
I say..(no matter what MY answer WOULD HAVE BEEN),
"If he already said "NO", then THAT is the answer!"
Then I have to explain that HE is the MAN of the house and what he says goes! NO MATTER WHAT!!
We HAVE to RESPECT his decisions.

It our role as women to be his "helper".
In Genesis 2 it says:
18 The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."

Helper, NOT EQUAL.
Hard to hear...BUT TRUE!!!
Its a hard pill for an "Middle class American" girl like me(and MOST of my friends) to swallow.
It goes AGAINST ...well,just about EVERYTHING we were taught.

Trust me ..Im a normal girl....There are times when I feel the rebel in me flare up and its all I can do but to JUMP out of my skin,,
BUT....I try and remember...
This is THE test!!!~And what a test it is!!!!

Remembering that our SUBMISSION should be based on GODS law...BASICALLY - how we act shouldn't DEPEND on how our husbands act.
How we act SHOULD be based on GODS LAW.
It should be based on what WE as Women are CALLED to do FOR our husbands.

4 A wife of noble character is her husband's crown,
but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones. Proverbs 12:4

I want my daughters to understand that we are CALLED to do this.
It is a BLESSING to RESPECT our GOD-LOVING husbands or boyfriends.
What society tells them is that ~Its MORE COOL to be a REBEL.
Its not as cool to be submisive.

I want them to know that there is a GENTLE GRACE in letting your husband lead your family.

I want them to know that these times...We ARE the rebels!!!!


Eric said...

Jana, of course i LOVE what your saying, but you should see the way this girls eyes roll while i read this to her! VERY NICE! Peace to you and yours. Love always, Eric

Shainee said...

God is smiling sister. A hard pill BUT.... one that promote's a TRUE family unit the way God intended. Bless!

Jana said...

Love you guys for all the comments!!! FUN!!!

Mari V. said...

Jana, I have very different beliefs than you as you know, so I feel reciprication of respect is a must for me and my family (to be, hopefully) Submissive is a HEAVY word to use in a relationship and there is still MUCH respect for my guy, Erik, without me being submissive which means ~ready to conform to the authority or will of others;meekly obedient or passive.~Love you, girl!

Anonymous said...

This is a tough one to teach the girls. I agree with God's will to be submissive to a man, BUT you do not want your daughter to be submissive to man who is NOT A GODLY man...that could be MAJOR trouble! That scares me...there are so many woman who are abused physically, mentally, and spiritually because they are TOO submissive to a man. Just have to pray while you are teaching this to our daughters!

Jana said...

It HAS to be a GODLY man...There are so many women I know that are submissive to an UNGODLY man...Because it is a HABIT! DONT MAKE THAT A HABIT!!!!

Anonymous said...

many ask Amma ...............

"Mother why you choose to hug so many"

as maybe 60 million so far
Mother replies
"Awakening mother within every man"

this to me has always been the roots
for we all gots male and female
beyond illusion

"A man of god has the love of a mother"

god shines within all that allow light to lead the way even within the darkness the moon is bright

without cursing, without violence, without anger and rage

nuturing our souls, our children
and upmost protection and guidance of the most high
is silence
or as gentle as birds singing in the trees
much love and raspect

Another home schooling mom said...

I agree with what you are saying here. In general, I am an obedient wife - I have my bad habits of leaving clothes on the line over night and leaving the fan on when I leave the room. I'm imperfect. Being a husband, the family leader, is just as difficult and compromising of one's independence. The "Wife:Submissive. Husband:Dominant" concept is harmony.

I totally get it. Although this one particular time after our first was born, my husband wanted me to go on the pill. I said, "I'll go on the pill if you go on the same pill." He didn't like that. Under the union of marriage, wife and husband are One. When one sacrifices his or her morals, that is not One.

Well, my point is, submission is tough. But fair leading is tough, too.


cryste cole said...

Jana....I LOVE your insight, as these are not YOUR words but the LORDs commands. Tou are choosing to beleive TRUTH. He places rules and bounderies on our life so that it is....better for US and to glorify Him. When my heart was convicted of TRUE submission, I could not beleive the FREEDOM there was in that and in trusting God. My husband is NOT perfect and it is at times difficult with what I may be submitting to, however each time that I practice obedience to God, our love has grown so much deeper and so much more gentler, and passionate. We have built a deeper respect for one another.
God doesn't call us to submit to a "perfect" husband, he just commands us to submit. In our obedience, we will find blessing. Also God does not promise that our life will be easy (in fact- the commonality of ALL God's people in the bible is that they endured hard times, but they reaped in the end) "For let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do NOT loose heart" Gal 6:9
Being submissive does not mean that we are not allowed an opinion or to logically have a discussion with our dear husbands for something in which we may not agree. The way in which we do so can be a choice of submission or NOT: respectful, lifting our husbands, helping them, or not. Nagging at them in front of your children or worse (others), or approching with a sincere, gentle heart of concern in a private manner where his authority is NOT challenged!
Home is much more PEACEFULL and LOVE flows so much more abundantly than ever before! To those unsure~ you can always try faith on this out~ what do you have to loose? If it doesn't work out, go back to your way!