God Willing....

Sometimes I just have those days....

You know the ones....the ones where
the arguments never end

the "What were you thinking" talks happen over and over

the days where there are so many sentences written that it seems POINTLESS.

A day that just makes me wanna go BACK TO BED.

I should have known that it was going to be one of those days because...
I was sick for the last 3 days.

YUCK.

It started at 7:30 ...they started arguing.

LOUDLY.

So....Right then and there was the FIRST talk about WHY you should be LOVING aand KIND to your brothers.

I explained that we are ALL GODS children and when we are MEAN or UNKIND to one another it is disrespectful towards HIM.

That was the FIRST time.

As soon as that happened and they all spent a little "quiet time" in their beds ...AT 7:30 AM...we started school.

And we started by talking about sin.

I asked, "What is a sin?"

"breaking Gods rules"
"going against Jah"
"doing something WRONG"

All GREAT CORRECT ANSWERS!!!

But ...OBVIOUSLY...they werent getting it today.

They copied bible verses, they sat in time outs, they lost privledges.

It was a hard day in the Vallone home today...
It was a LONG HARD DAY.

Thank goodness that GOD WILLING we get another chance tommorow. <3

Walkabout??? Already????

Wikipedia says that THIS is the definition of a walkabout:

"Walkabout refers to a rite of passage during which male Australian Aborigines would undergo a journey during adolescence and live in the wilderness for a period."

Well...as a parent of a man-child I knew that SOMEDAY one of the boys would want to go on some sort of "walkabout".

And ...as a Mother I always knew that I would NOT BE READY-whenever that day came!

And just as I'd imagined ...it happened last night.

Jay had a gig and Zeek stayed there with him to help the band load up the equipment, roll cords, break down drums, etc.

THIS is a hard transition for ME...but- he is getting older and NEEDS to gain some sort of independence. Sniff sniff. LOL.

He JUST started staying and helping in the last year.

The other kids used to complain with the TYPICAL responses of , "But, Mom!!!! I want to stay TOO!!!!!"

or, the ever lasting , "MOM!!!! Thats not FAIR!!!!!"

But, after a few discussions about how Zeek is the oldest so he will ALWAYS be the FIRST to do things...FOREVER. They usually quiet down.

When they keep arguing, I easiely shut their mouths with a quick, "I did not make THAT decision. If you have a problem with THAT ONE, you need to talk to GOD!"

Which of course...stops them in their tracks! LOL

So JUST THIS has been a slow transition for us all...the kids are growing.
we have kinda exited the baby stage...its time for some independance.

BUT...I was NOT PREPARED when they came home last night and PROPOSITIONED ME.

I promise you this was not a RANDOM WORK.

THIS was PLANNED.

They came to me in the kitchen.

Zeek under Jays arm.
UNITED.
They were there for a PURPOSE.

I'm not really sure how it started but ALL I REMEMBER are the words "Tennessee" and "reggae festival".

It was all a blur....
And the next thing I know was that they were trying to convince me that Zeek should be able to take his first "WALKABOUT".

In this situation the "walkabout" being: a reggae festival in Tennessee where they are camping by a river. Jay will be playing and Zeek will be "a roadie"....He will wave the flag on stage when Jay is playing..just like always. They will leave on Friday and return on Sunday.

As you can imagine..JUST the thought made my heart immediately start to beat faster and my mind race!

My answer: Ill have to PRAY on that one!!!

In my heart I know it is ok.
It is probably the BEST "Walkabout" a Rasta family could ask for.

So ...I guess it is time.

And everyone is doing EXACTLY what they are supposed to do.

The Father and Son are SUPPOSED to try and convince the Mother that IT IS "THE RIGHT" TIME.
And the Mother is SUPPOSED to feel that it could NEVER be "THE RIGHT TIME".

Good news folks....WERE RIGHT ON SCHEDULE!!!!!!!!!!!

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!

Datil Do it…….

 

Its funny how even kids raised in the same home, same parents, same LIFE, can STILL  be soooooo different.

All of our kids are sweet.

Most of the time.

All are obedient.

Most of the time.

Last night I was getting the kids out of the bath and I told Malachi to get out.

“No.” he said.

I said, “Get out before I count to 3.”

“No.” he said.

I said , “Now your getting out AND getting a spanking.”

He laughed.

So I got him out and spanked him.

He laughed…AGAIN.

I said , “Well , I guess I will have to use the Datil Pepper HOT SAUCE.”

THAT got a  reaction….

“No Mom, PLEASE. No MOM!!!!!!”

He begged .

He Pleaded.

He still got “Sauced”.

Please pray for us.

Pray that we don't need to plant an EXTRA Datil pepper plant….JUST FOR MALACHI!!!!

Karma.

 

All of the children are PRECIOUS.

All have their own STRONG POINTS.

Ezekiel's’ strong point is DEFINANTLY his SWEET NATURE.

He is always helpful, gracious, and loving.

He is a LIGHT in this family and the other children are BLESSED to have him as an example.

So when this happened the other day I was NOT SURPRISED.

But I was AWED.

………………………………………………………………………………………………….

We were getting ready to go to the gym the other day and we were LOADING UP in the van.

Zeek was sitting in the front seat and the other kids were in the back.

Shasha was arguing with Malachi about SOMETHING.

I was just getting in the car and I was about to give my best “If you don’t stop arguing , we WILL NOT go swimming after Yoga” speech when Zeek jumped in for me.

“Guys….if you treat people nice , nice things will happen to you. Its called KARMA.  There is GOOD KARMA and BAD KARMA.  If you do something GOOD, GOOD comes back to you.  And if you do something BAD, BAD things will eventually happen to you.”

As you can imagine…My heart was starting to MELT.

THEN he took hold of my hand and looked at me and WINKED.

As if to say…”I got this, Mom.”

You could have MOPPED ME UP.

I was so in love with that child at that moment.

I was so in awe.

I feel SO BLESSED to have been GIVEN such an AMAZING GIFT.

And so HONORED to be able to watch him GROW INTO A MAN.

What an EXCITING JOURNEY we are on.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

1Blessed is the man who fears the Lord,
who greatly delights in his commandments!
2 His offspring will be mighty in the land;
the generation of the upright will be blessed.
3 Wealth and riches are in his house,
and his righteousness endures forever.
4 Light dawns in the darkness for the upright;
he is gracious, merciful, and righteous.
5 It is well with the man who deals generously and lends;
who conducts his affairs with justice.
6 For the righteous will never be moved;
he will be remembered forever.

Psalm 112:1-6

Tried and TRUE….

After having 4 kids ..I have become “THAT MOM”.

The one who has tried and FAILED at SOOOOOO many discipline techniques that I cant even remember them all.

I mean there was a time when i SWORE i would never spank my kids.

ROOKIE.

LOL

I NOW believe that there are times when you HAVE to spank.

ON OCCASION.

When “the punishment” fits “the crime”.

We discipline for DIFFERENT REASONS:

I KNOW that I want my kids to HONOR and RESPECT us as parents.

I want them to OBEY…the first time.

AND..MOSTLY-

I want them to KNOW that WE(the parents) are not the JUDGE…GOD is.

I have learned thru my parenting trials and tribulations that 1 day something will work ..THEN…the next day it won’t!

OR

One thing may work with 1 child and not the next!

BUT……………

After 9 years , 3 months, 1 week and 1 day…….

I HAVE learned a trick:

1. I have the BEST ADVICE for interrupting .

When I am on the phone or am talking to someone face to face(rarely eye-level) LOL….INEVITABLY –there is a child who is pulling on me or  interrupting me while I am talking.  Sooooo-A while ago we started making the kids walk up and hold onto our wrist if they wanted to talk to us.

Its AMAZING!!!

Our kids KNOW that they ARE NOT ALLOWED to interrupt so they KNOW NOW that this is a better choice when ASKING for something.

It produces BETTER RESULTS.

LOL

They KNOW that we will ANSWER …WHEN we get a moment.

When WE ARE READY!

And …IT WORKS!!!!!!!!

Prov 22:15: "Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him."

Prov 23:13: "Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die."

Prov 23:14: "Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell (Shoel)."

Prov 29:15: "The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame."

Who Knew????

Who knew that WAL-MART on Dec.23 could be such a BLESSING?

I mean…

Usually…

Going to Wal-Mart is not a MOM-friendly experience.

For ME anyway..

(Although – My husband has an UN-canny knack for getting thru Wal-mart with 4 kids…with NO STRESS!  All the while saying to me, “You need to quit STRESSING OUT!”  UUUggghhhh!!!! )

I know ….. CRAZY!!!

Anyway…

On Dec.23 we went to wal-mart.

I was making  my way thru the isles with 4 kids in one of those carts that LOOKS kid friendly…BUT REALLY- It is actually HARDER to maneuver than a REGULAR cart

THEN

a man came up to me and said:

“Excuse me… I have been watching your family for 10 years on the beach and I just wanted to tell you that your family is AMAZING. I have watched you all and your kids are so well behaved. I am a school teacher and I just wanted to tell you that you and your husband are doing a GREAT job!”

I  looked around for some SUPER-MOM standing behind me.

NOPE…He was talking to ME!!!!

WOW!!!!

What a great compliment in the midst of such WAL-MART CHAOS!!!

I GRACIOUSLY told the man thank you and went about our way.

I walked away thinking about how SOMETIMES ..

In the midst of Chaos…

I can lose sight of how TRULY  MAGICAL my family is.

Then ….

As if to RECONFIRM what I was TOLD…

I WATCHED SILENTLY AS THIS HAPPENED:

We were going thru the check out and the 3 youngest kids had already spent their money that they had($1)

Zeek was going to buy candy with his money.

He had $1 + $3 he had SAVED.

BUT

the other kids started saying that THEY wanted Candy also.

Sooo…..

Without HESITATION…AT ALL

Zeek said:

“ Hey guys…Since you have already spent YOUR money, Pick out the candy that YOU WANT and I’ll buy it for you!”

Wow!!!!

What an AMAZING SHOW of LOVE and GRACIOUSNESS!!!!

Like I said……WHO KNEW?????

What a blessing!!!!

TOGETHERNESS…….

Last Night was our ANNUAL walk across the bridge to feed the homeless downtown.

What a blessing it is to have 18 people COME TOGETHER and do something that REALLY HELPS an IMMEDIATE NEED.

There are sooo many homeless right outside our backdoor…

So many that are cold and hungry.

The kids LOVE doing this.

They LOOK FORWARD to doing this.

There were several moments last night that really put things in perspective for me.

One was when we were being silly and Jay was “Posing” as a wise man around a wooden baby Jesus.

(Dont ask!!!LOL)

At the end of “playing around”..Jay spoke about how we may joke about things like that(the wooden baby Jesus)

BUT

TRUTHFULLY…

is is a serious thing.

He continued by saying that Jesus died for our sins and we should all take a moment to think about that.

While my husband was standing there I was filled with a sense of TOGETHERNESS.

At this time of year we are a little bit ISOLATED.

Well….

We have ISOLATED ourselves.

We don’t celebrate Christmas.

(not because we don’t believe in Christ-we just don’t believe he was born on that day, along with the COMMERCIALIZATION of it all..which we don’t believe in)

and we don’t participate in  ALOT of the things that go along with Christmas.

ALSO…

Because the kids are so young…

we cant GUARANTEE that they wont spill ther beans about Santa to the other kids around.

So we GENERALLY don’t do Christmas family dinners, etc.

But our Annual Walk across the bridge has become something that fosters a feeling of TOGETHERNESS for me at this time of year.

A time when we can focus on WHAT WE ALL WANT TO DO…

HELP.

Together…

we want to HELP.

1 foot in front of the other…

We all want to HELP.

No matter HOW DIFFERENT our:

FAITH

BELIEFS

LIVES

or

JOURNEYS.

We  JOIN TOGETHER to HELP!!!!

What YOU gonna do about it?

If you know Shashamane you KNOW that she LOVES Gwen Stefani.

She LOVES the song.."Now that you got it."

I love the song also...its SO quirky and cute.

LYRICS:
Now that you got it, what you gonna do about it?
Now that you got it, what you gonna do about it?
Now that you got it, what you gonna do about it?
What you gonna do about it? What you gonna do about it?

Now that I'm your baby the things you promised me now I want
Now that you got it, what you gonna do about it?
What you gonna do about it? What you gonna do about it?
All the stars I was reachin' for you had in the palm of your hand
& if for just once I would let the
padlock on the door be open
Well, dammit, just get on over here
This better be the best thing I ever felt
My days, they better be sunny
It better be nothing but all that I want

LOVE
LOVE
LOVE it!!!!!!!!

Well ....If you saw Shasha sing this song you would CRY laughing.
She is sooooo into it and can sing EVERY WORD.
SOOOO CUTE!

Today we were on our way to pick up the Ellison's for HS co-op when I noticed Shasha TOTALLY singing.

I turned it down and said, "Shasha you know this song is about her EXPECTING a boy to be everything he promised for her, right?"

She smiled and just shrugged.

I said, "When you get older boys will say and promise you all kinds of things to be your boyfriend or hold your hand...you know that right?"

She said..."Yes"

"That's why you have to make sure they are good boys, nice boys...right?"

"They have to be nice to her, right?" said Sheba.

I said, "Well...yall have big brothers" and smiled.

And faintly in the background I heard Malachi say, in a TOTALLY serious voice, "Yeah, we can SMASH em'".

And to THAT I had nothing to say.............OUTLOUD.

Inside in a quiet voice, very faintly, I said "Thats EXACTLY right Malachi, SMASH EM'!"

Gotta LOVE big brothers!!!!!

What a LIFE.....

Zoo Keeper for LIFE......

Sometimes I feel like were in a ZOO.

Sometimes I feel like I have 4 wild animals that live in this house.

The kids AND I are sick right now and I feel a little HOUSE-TRAPPED!

I feel like they are BORED and am REMINDED of TRAINING....

In times like these I feel like a CRAZY WOMAN trying to just DEAL.
An animal trainer TRYING to train these little souls.

In honor of THIS FEELING, I thought I would remind MYSELF of what the bible says about TRAINING your kids:


Proverbs 22:6
Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.

Proverbs 13:24
He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.

Proverbs 19:18
Discipline your son, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to his death.

Proverbs 22:15
Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him.

Proverbs 23:13-14
Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die. Punish him with the rod and save his soul from death.

Proverbs 29:15
The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother.

Proverbs 29:17
Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul.

This kind of training REQUIRES CONSTANT DILIGENCE...
So much in fact that, lets be honest, sometimes we feel like were failing.
I always struggle with the feeling of "Im not doing enough".
Maybe its actually ME who needs more training....
More training in TRAINING our kids!!!!