Greener Grass....

My kids are some of my best teachers.

Thru them I learn sooo much about myself. It always seems to me that God has given me these children to help me GROW..just as much as I am here to help THEM grow.

It is always amazing to be GIVEN the words that I need when I am teaching THEM somrething.
Amazing because ...most of the time the words just FALL out of my mouth.
Most of the time I HEAR myself say things to them..just as I hear them MYSELF.

Today the girls were arguing all morning. They were arguing over the typical things.
Shasha dosen't want to play with Sheba.
Sheba wants Shasha to LISTEN to her.
Shash wants Sheba to stop following her.
"Leave me alone!!! I need SPACE!"
Typical of sisters.

Then today...when Sheba went to the store with Jay for a few hours- Shasha learned a lesson.

She came to me and said, "Mom...there is nothing to DO when Sheba is not here."

I looked at her and smiled.
It was music to my ears. It made me smile INSIDE.
.
I looked at her and said, "Well Shasha, this should be a lesson for you. Try and remember THAT when she is here and you are annoyed with her. Remember that in life sometimes things look or seem like they would be better another way. But in reality..Life is LIFE. What you are given is what you should be THANKFUL for."

She looked at me and smiled.
But in that moment I was also the student.
Those words were not mine. Those words were given to me.
They came from the Father.
He was talking TO ME..and THRU me- at the same time.
Because-
We are all children ....
Children of God.

Some of us are "older" than others.
Some of us are "smarter" than others.

But all of us... are Children of God in constant need of instruction and molding.

No matter how "old" or "smart" we are.

On Wealth...and being "rich"

Some people consider us poor because we don't have the most RECENT technological gadgets, the biggest TV's or the best designer clothes.

Some people consider us poor because we live in a "raised florida home" (fancy for big trailer)and drive a van that we have to unhook the battery EVERYTIME you get out so it dosen't die.

Some people consider us poor because we would RATHER go to the thrift shop and buy USED than to the mall and buy NEW.

From the outside...we are "material" poor.

And we don't care.

We KNOW we are RICH.

I wouldn't trade the life I have for all the MATERIAL WEALTH in the world.

Life is TRULY precious and in my last days I promise you...I will not WANT for BETTER THINGS.

I will BEG for more time.

More time to love my family.

More time to teach my kids.

More time to serve with my brothers and sisters.

More time to laugh with friends.

More time to SAVOR LIFE.

Life is too short to dwell on earthly possesions...

Life is too short to chase paper.....

Because what we have is MORE PRECIOUS THAN GOLD!

Priceless....

(These pics are from our mini-vaca in New Smyrna Beach last weekend.AWESOME!)

Comfortably Numb???????

 

My friend Heather has been in Haiti on a mission trip for about a month now.

She is an amazing woman with 4 kids and she is on a “mission” ….in more ways than one.

She lived in Texas her whole life …until she moved to Haiti.

As I  read her blog I can’t help but be “taken back” to our days in Costa Rica.

For us there were THOSE days also.

Days when we  had to  re-adjust our lives.

Washing clothes by hand, figuring out HOW to wash dishes, how to EAT, and simply STAY ALIVE.

Days when REAL LIFE stared me in the face.

When poverty lived just around the corner, and struggle was a DAILY.

As I read her blog there is something that swells inside me….

I can’t figure it out.

As I read her blog today I said to Jay , “Is it weird that I MISS the 3rd world struggle?”

I sat there staring at the computer screen pondering WHAT this feeling is…searching my heart for the rhyme or reason.

I am blessed to be BACK here and am BLESSED to KNOW where our next meal will come from….

BUT

I feel ODDLY unsettled by how “comfortable “ I am here.

I feel like we(as Americans) can lose sight of what REAL LIFE is like for some people.

I feel like sometimes we complain about about things sooooo UNWORTHY of complaints.

We didn’t walk to a well today.

Our  families  are not starving.

We live in a homes…not  tent cities.

We  have NOTHING to complain about.

Yet…

We do.

And as Americans I think we tuck those uncomfortable  things safely away in the BACK of our minds…..

only thinking about them when CONVENIENT.

I don’t want to be  DISOBEDIENT to God.

He says :

Deut. 15:7. If there is a poor man among you, one of your brothers, in any of the towns of the land which the LORD your God is giving you, you shall not harden your heart, nor close your hand to your poor brother; but you shall freely open your hand to him, and generously lend him sufficient for his need in whatever he lacks.

I want to live like THAT!!!!!!

I want to BURN the veil the COVERS my eyes!

I want to be obedient and AWARE of the REAL LIFE situations around me.

I want to be part of Jah’s soldiers.

The ones who defend the WEAK and the POOR.

The ones who STAND UP for what is right BECAUSE it is right.

In Proverbs it says this:

Prov. 31:8 Open your mouth for the dumb, for the rights of all the unfortunate. Open your mouth, judge righteously, and defend the rights of the afflicted and needy.

I think THAT  what I miss about 3rd world living is …..

the fact that EVERYONE in a 3rd world country is at least AWARE of   REAL LIFE STRUGGLE….

they may not LIVE it …but they SEE it.

It isn’t tucked away in the BACK of their minds ….

I want to keep those things FIRMLY PLANTED in my life and the lives of my family.

I want to live a KINGDOM LIFE.

A life that is DICTATED by the LOVE of GOD.

A life that is MOVED by the LOVE of GOD.

A life that is BLESSED by the LOVE of GOD.

Jer. 7:5-7. "For, if you truly amend your ways and your deeds, if you truly practice justice between a man and his neighbor, if you do not oppress the alien, the orphan, and the widow, and do not shed innocent blood in this place, nor walk after other gods to your own ruin, then I will let you dwell in this place, in the land that I gave to your fathers forever and ever."

FIRST…….forever.

Birth order is a funny thing.

Something WE have no control over.

ABSOLUTELY …no control.

It is like a FUNNY RIDDLE you dont figure out until you are IN IT.

Only God knows why he chose a firstborn to be a firstborn, middle child to be a middle child, or the baby to be the baby.

He always has a MASTER PLAN.

What is the saying,"We make plans and God laughs.”

Lately we have been having LOTS of “Why ME???” discussions.

You know ..the ones where the kids ask questions like:

“But…WHY ME?”

“Why do I always have to help the other kids?”

“Why is it always MEEEEEEEEEE?”

And my answer is ALWAYS the same…”Take it up with GOD.”

But Lately ……

Zeek has been getting REALLy upset because he THINKS he has to do SO MUCH MORE that the other kids.

He DOSEN”T …But thinks he does!

(RIGHT ON SCHEDULE for a 9 year old boy who is the oldest of 4.)

LOL

And because he has been getting SOOOOOO EMOTIONAL lately,sometimes I can’t tell if he’s JUST EMOTIONAL or if he really has SOMETHING TO SAY about the situation.

I am starting to realize that he might need more than the , “Take it up with God” approach.

When I see him REALLY struggle with a situation it makes me want to cradle him and snuggle him into “feeling better”, but at the same time I understand that we all are in the EXACT PLACE we are meant to be.

Every situation we are put into…. God KNEW was comming.

Every time we struggle with “our place” in life…there is a lesson to be learned.

Wherever we are …we are MEANT to be.

And as a mother to these sweet babies…I also have to remember that I was GIVEN these children.

I was BLESSED with THIS situation.

I MUST have wisdom to share with these youth.

It must be MY DESTINY to teach these TRUTHS to my children.

It makes me REALIZE that I have been put in MY PLACE.

For a REASON…

BY GOD.

And still SOMETIMES….”Take it up with GOD”  isn’t enough for me either.

Sometimes it takes me REALLY thinking about it in my mind.

Sometimes …I need to spend a minute in meditation.

THEN

SOMETIMES……..

THAT is when I figure it out.

I figure out that the wisdom I am trying to teach my children is ALREADY inside me.

The “solutions” that work for the kids also work for me.

Twice a child..........

Comming to Texas I had 2 agendas.
One was to see my parents and the other was to see my Grandma.
About a month ago my family decided that for her own safety we would put her in a "nursing facility".
Today I went to see her.
I know it would be hard.
I knew I was NOT PREPERED.
She has Alzheimers disease.
2 years ago I saw her and she was the Grandmother I remember.
Today she was NOT.
We had "the talk" with the kids ahead of time....about the nursing home, the elders, and how to act.
When we got there My mom and I went into the dining room to get her.
She was sooooo excited and happy that we were there.
We spent about 30 min. visiting and just letting her spend time with the kids.
We took pictures, we cried, we talked , and we cried some more.
It was an EYE-OPENING experience.
It made me REALLY think about LIFE and how QUICKLY it passes.
We sometimes make this journey and forget to REALLY ENJOY it.
We blink and YEARS have passed.
We turn around and our kids are half grown.
It made me really LOOK at life.
It made me really understand that life can ZOOM by at lightning speed.
Life can be wonderful and joyous...if we APPRECIATE it.
OR
Life can be SCARY and SAD...if we LET it.
Today made me really appreciate this "sweet spot" in my life.
The place where the kids are young, still at home, and still willing to GIVE kisses to their Mom.
It really made me understand the saying...."Once a man and TWICE a child."
Life is CRAZY LOVELY JOURNEY that GOD writes the story of....
A story that requires we pay attention and apareciate EVERY DAY, EVERY LESSON, EVERY MOMENT!

Slipping away……..

Maybe its because Zeek is the oldest.

Maybe its because he doesn't get to very often

BUT…

He LOVES to go spend the night with family or friends.

ANY chance he gets.

He GOES.

Last weekend he spent the night with his cousin and we met them at the beach the next day for a few hours,

THEN

he had a play date planned with a friend, so we took him over there after the beach.

I knew he was EXCITED…he had BEEN talking about it the entire week.

And I love for him to go other places and hang with friends.

I really do.

And he is an AMAZING KID…so people are ALWAYS telling me how nice and polite he is when he is there.

But we ALWAYS miss him.

ALWAYS.

Its like a piece of the puzzle is missing when he is gone.

SERIOUSLY…

Its like a big HUGE puzzle piece is missing.

So…..

As the rest of us sat on the couch and watched “Wipeout” I decided it was time to call…he had been gone for 36.5 hours that he had been “away”  and we NEEDED him. 

LOL

But-I called Mellisa and she invited him to stay the night…..Oh no!!!

LOL

After that… THIS was my conversation with Zeek:

M:”Hey Bud, are you having fun"?”

Z: “Yes Maam!!!!!! “(It  was 9pm and they had JUST gotten out of the ocean! <3)

M: “Well…are you ready to come home????  Dad will come get you.”

Z: “Um…No-I think Ill stay.”

M: “Are you sure?  Dad will come get you!!”

Z: “No Mom…Ill stay!”

So- I hung up the phone still 1 piece short of the puzzle.

I hung up the phone and said to Jay, “He wants to stay.”

Jay said, “Its ok.  He's getting BIG!”

But as I sat there I couldn’t help but REFLECT on what was happening.

He is slipping away…….

I’m desperately trying to HOLD HIM.

But he’s slowly growing up.

I realize that there is nothing I can do…..

He is doing what he is supposed to do.

And I guess by trying to slow it…… so am I.

Mini Zeek….x3

I guess It happens in every house full of kids.

We had them pretty close together…9,7,6,4.

Stair steps.

They are sooo close in age that they CLOSE to each other…

MOST of the time.

I mean …don’t get me wrong…they DO argue and fight.

BUT-------

They also IDOLIZE the children that are older than them.

CUTE.

The other day they were REALLY QUIET for about 20 min.

SCARY.

VERY SCARY.

And…ALTHOUGH we were worried, Jay and I decided to TALK instead of GO FIND THEM.

Lucky for US…THIS is ALL   they were up to……….

They were dressing up as EZEKIEL!!!!

All of them.

In his clothes.

His hats.

His pants.

AWESOME.

Its a good thing he is a GREAT  EXAMPLE for them to follow.

LOVE IT!!!!!!!

Sweet, sweet kids that LOVE their big brother.

More TOGETHERNESS….

We have been having an AWESOME time with Jackie and Hailey in town.

What a blessing.

It seems to me that as we get older….we just MIGHT get wiser.

Gone are the days of fighting and bickering.

Gone are the days of childish games and competitiveness.

Now…

we just love each other.

We can just APPRECIATE each other for who we are.

TRULY.

We have accepted our “roles”.

Mine- the “Crazy” Aunt Jana who flies by the seat of her pants and is NEVER on time.

Hers-the “Not so Crazy” Aunt Jackie who likes to be on a schedule and is perpetually EARLY for everything.

We couldn’t be MORE different…or more the SAME.

Here are a few more pics of our journey this week….

 

Together AGAIN….

My sister and niece arrived on Friday.

Happy Happy….

This is just SO FAR………

CREATING Culture

I have mentioned before that I read a FEW BLOGS …..

THIS is the LIVESAY BLOG.

If you haven’t read it…..GO.

NOW.

COME BACK TO THIS.

AMAZING people….doing AMAZING things.

They are a missionary family of 7(as far as I can tell) that …UNTIL the earthquake….

LIVED in Haiti.

LOVED in Haiti.

WORKED in Haiti.

Now….they are in TEXAS.

“Experiencing” American “CULTURE”.

Read about it HERE!!!

I LOVE that they are RAW to the “Culture” that is so called “AMERICAN”.

And when I say “culture” I mean the materialistic consumerism.

On her latest blog she talked about the children having “fits” because  there is TOO MUCH to chose from.

You know…like 20 kinds of yogurt…or 15 kinds of EGGS.

I can relate because just yesterday I stood in front of the yogurt in the store and walked away with NOTHING because I couldn’t decide!!!!

I makes me think about how in OUR life..we have decided to try and CREATE CULTURE.

We have decided, by living on the “outside” of society,that we will set ourselves apart from “American” culture.

In OUR CULTURE… we have decided to shun monetary “riches” in favor of RICHES of the HEART.

A culture where EXCESS is just that….EXCESS.

We are CREATING a  culture where JAH comes first….not work, or friends, or money.

A culture where doing the RIGHT THING is the ONLY THING.

A culture that is PROUD to be different.

PROUD to LOVE GOD.

A culture of ONE LOVE.

A culture of CHARITY,GRACE, and HUMILITY.

I PRAY that we can MANIFEST this  CULTURE .

I pray that this is a culture that WILL ENDURE the test of time.

For our children's’  sake…..I PRAY.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Prayer and Preparation….

WOW!!!

What a week…..

Here is the RUNDOWN:

Thursday night we started putting everything IN our house out on the lawn.

 

Friday afternoon we got our 26 foot UHAUL.

That's right …a 26 footer!!!

Then we proceeded to play tetris till it was full.

We kept loading

and

loading

and loading.

INSANE.

THANKFULLY…..Awesome Aunt Amy and Uncle Jeff came to our rescue and took ALL of our SWEET kids to their house at about 5 PM.

Then…we proceeded to FINISH loading up the rest of the stuff into our vans and Josiah's truck.

Which took the ENTIRE rest of the evening WITH help from ROB, MIKE, JOSIAH and KASEY! (Thank you guys!!!…not that they are reading this.LOL)

AFTER THAT…at about 11 pm- with our vans and the U-Haul PACKED in front of the house -we STARTED to clean the old place.

And when I say CLEAN…I mean that in EVERY sense of the word.

Caulk

Putty

Paint

Steam Clean

Deep Clean

CRAZY CLEAN.

And after ALL THAT….

It was now about 3 AM-----and all the stuff was gone, all the carpets were wet, and everything was packed up.

We were TIRED…

I mean -

“Fall asleep on the hard wood floor with NOTHING tired”

FUN.

We woke up at 6:45….

swept our way OUT THE DOOR and went with a HAPPY HEART to our new HOMESTEAD.

THEN….

We STARTED to UNLOAD…..

And the UNpacking still hasn’t stopped.

There is TONS to do and I AIM to start school again on Monday.

Which entails REBUILDING the schoolroom this week….

Whew!!!!

Oh yeah….

we got here to discover that the TANK to heat the stove is GONE….

So we haven't been able to COOK since we got here.

The tank will be here on Thursday..THANK GOODNESS.

I felt like the WORST MOM EVER with a cart full of FROZEN MICROWAVEABLE food.

AWFUL.

Regardless of the CRAP you go thru when you move…it is ALWAYS worth it in the end.

We have lots of work to do.

BUT

every corner i turn seems to have ENDLERSS POSSIBILITIES!!!!

"Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed."
Proverbs 16:3