Friday, February 5, 2010

Truth and Honesty……

INTRODUCTION: I am going to be honest here….if you don't think you can handle it …STOP READING.

ropeMaybe its the move.

Maybe its myfamilys health issues.

Maybe its “homeschool guilt”.

Maybe its ALL of it.

I don’t know.

I can’t put my finger on it.

But I am DEFINANTLY in a funk.

FEAR funk.


I don’t know.

The move has been RELATIVELY smooth.

If you don't count the UNhappy vacating renters we encountered


the “cleaning” of the old place.

AND there is SOOOO much to be thankful for.

and so much to look forward to.

But LOTS to do.

My HOMESCHOOL issues are silly.

I have TYPICAL “homeschool guilt” …because the schoolroom isn’t done yet and the kids are not on their NORMAL schedule.

They are fine.

Still smart.


My families health issues are my main focus right now.

I guess its FEAR.

Fear of the unknown.

Fear of the unexpected.

I find myself fearful.

I know I shouldn’t be…


I am.

I'm being honest.

I am.

I am scared of LIFE.

Its so fragile.


I tell people ALL DAY that GOD is in control.

I mean it…I tell people ALL DAY.


But if I'm HONEST…

I say it for myself MORE that I say it for them.


To convince MYSELF.

Its the TRUTH.

And for the sake of INTEGRITY.


Because I am trying to keep this blog as a “lifelong journal” of sorts…

I want it to be true and to not CANDY COAT things.

So there it is….

the TRUTH.

I am in a funk.

I am worried.

I am scared.


I know that Jah will provide ALL THINGS NEEDED.

1 The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.

2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,
       he leads me beside quiet waters,

3 he restores my soul.
       He guides me in paths of righteousness
       for his name's sake.

4 Even though I walk
       through the valley of the shadow of death, [a]
       I will fear no evil,
       for you are with me;
       your rod and your staff,
       they comfort me.

5 You prepare a table before me
       in the presence of my enemies.
       You anoint my head with oil;
       my cup overflows.

6 Surely goodness and love will follow me
       all the days of my life,
       and I will dwell in the house of the LORD

1 comment:

Kaity said...

I found this blog a couple weeks ago and i have been reading it ever since. I am a new mother my son is four months old but my partener has a beautiful amazing 7 year old that i am homeschooling. We started this year and i know all about homeschooling guilt. Anyway when i found your blog i was overjoyed, another rasta family homeschooling who also dosent celebrate christmas in the traditional way. Haha when i found you it was around christmas and i was feeling really guilty about that. You have reasured me in my own path and have served to remind me to stop and listen to gods word on countless occasions. so i just wanted to let you know that you are doing a wonderful job. .You are truely amazing. And though i have never seen you or spoken to you in person i love you and support you. You have nothing to fear because we are in Jahs hands and he will provide for us each and every day. So again i offer you unconditional support and love and a reminder that you are amazing. you are super woman.