Monday, July 1, 2013

Surrendering…to reality.



People ask me one question a lot…

They ask…. “How is it that yall have stayed together soooo long?”

And it always surprises  me that in this day and time….

15 years is an ETERNATY.

I mean…it isn’t.  REALLY…in the scope of things.


In the days of broken promises, fairy tale expectations, and unrealistic standards….

We have been married “FOREVER”.

In todays world girls are taught to never accept less that 1000% of a mans attention.

We are taught that unless he remembers birthdays, anniversaries, and the day of your first kiss…..he is an ass.

We are fed the lie that he will be perfect.  We are told to accept NOTHING LESS. Wait long enough…and he will appear.

I hear women  all the time talking to their friends about how “if he wants you…he will PROVE it by…(Insert ANYTHING).

I mean we are taught to be UNFORGIVING and to expect no less than perfection.

We are taught to NEVER …ever ever ever…

Wave a white flag.

We are taught to never SURRENDUR what we WANT…for anyone.

WOMEN FIRST…Ugh.  Such a set-up.

It is engrained in our minds from a very young age that marriage and life will be EASY…if you find the “right man”.

The problem with all THAT is:

No one is perfect.

No one will live up to those standards.

No one will ever be “everything” to you.

No one will ever fulfill your every need and want.

No one.


The “perfect man” does not exist.

He has never walked the earth.

I mean even Adam was tempted…and flawed.

And that…

That is the secret….

the realization that we are ALL FLAWED.

None of us are perfect.





Don’t get me wrong…I am by NO MEANS saying to settle with just ANY MAN.

But if you expect perfection…they will ALL fail you.

ALL MEN are NOT created equal…in a woman's eyes.

What I do mean is…  find and pinpoint the things that REALLY MATTER.  The things worth “fighting for”.  Find the things that are “deal-breakers” and stick to them.  But give some leeway in other areas.  Learn to wave your proverbial white flag.

Marriage isn't easy and in my opinion:



In order to make a marriage last ….you have to be forgiving.

And be forgiven.

I look at it like this:

There are times in life when  you have to fight FOR your life and times when I had to surrender  TO  IT..

The key to a lasting LOVE and marriage is to know the DIFFRENCE…

and to always carry a white flag.


Renee Oden said...

You're so inspiring. Jay is so lucky to have an amazing wife like you Jana!


Renee discount code said...

Nice blog, keep up and good luck.

Mel said...

Lovely post! Thank you!
Passing it on