Monday, October 28, 2013
She has begun doing this lately.....
putting her "'foot down".
For no reason really...I mean what does an 8 year old have to "put her foot down" about really?
Nothing...she just doesn't KNOW THAT YET.
She just wants to make a stand.
She wants to be heard.
She wants to stand her ground....even when her ground is shaky as SHIT.
Its something IN HER.....
I can see the strength in her eyes.
She has a hard time backing down...in that moment.
The other day she was supposed to be cleaning her room....
But, you see,....she is the baby of the family.
For her WHOLE LIFE she has been given a little "leeway".
She has been picked up after, carried(literally), and "babied" her entire existence.
But...we have only done that because ....- she only hated INSIDE CHORES.
She would rather be on the roof helping jay, or raking, or hauling wood.
So....I folded her clothes and put up her laundry
I admit it..
I did it fore her.
I figured that she was a HARD WORKER...just not as domestic in the "laundry area".
But lately.....she has been just plain REFUSING to help her sister clean up their room.
She will lay around, look at a book, or SLOWLY walk around and act as if she has NO IDEA what needs to be done.
Like..."WHO ARE YOU?? And what have you done with my sweet daughter??" Infuriating. UGH.
Which is what I was thinking when I walked into her room and ALL HER CLOTHES were still on the floor after Shasha had already cleaned up everything else ...just not HER SISTERS CLOTHES.
REALLY? I asked her 15 times...at least.
She looked at me with a blank look...kinda like a deer in headlights.
"You have to clean this up. You have to stay IN HERE till you have every bit cleaned up. By yourself." I said, very calmly.
And then she looked at me calmly with determination seeping from her tiny pores and said, "I guess I'll be in her the rest of my LIFE."
It was in that moment I didn't know whether to shake her or hug her.
She was so brave and disobedient.
I know I'm not supposed to love that ....
I love it because I know that this girl is a fighter....one day she will stand her ground...
She has will and determination ...and a pretty smile.
Who are we kidding?
There is no stopping her...no matter..
Maybe if I guide her in the right direction and teach her to love the truth...
Maybe if I mold her to love GOD with all her heart....
Maybe if I can teach her to shine her light brightly on injustice....
Maybe if I can show her that love is stronger than hate....
Maybe...all the time I spent letting her "practice" will be worth it.
Praying that one day....
she will stand for something worthwhile.
Until then...I will laugh and let her "cut her teeth" on things like laundry and schoolwork, all the while thinking, "Stand strong baby girl ...Stand Strong. One day you will change the world."
Posted by Jana at 6:18 PM