I know that isn’t popular….
It is difficult, and consuming…as it should be.
But lately…I feel a little like there has been a “game change”.
You see….when you start a family the PHYSICAL work is demanding.
You get no sleep, you walk around like a zombie milk factory that produces on demand….which is completely consuming(physically).
It is EXAUSTING!!!!!
Like…”throw yourself in front of a train” exhausting.
There are times when you feel like it will never end.
It feels ETERNAL.
But it isn’t. It ends. Slowly.
Like “right under your nose”…it ends. Time slips away and before you know it there are no more nursing pads, nipple cream, or dirty diapers.
It is GLORIOUS…for a second.
When I was busy having babies, I was tired, but I spent most of my time sitting and staring into the eyes of these little souls while I nursed them.
I listened to music, read books, and ROCKED…a lot.
And then…all of the sudden….they are different.
The work became…..more mental.
All the sudden…those babies, became people.
Like …real people.
With thoughts and concerns and emotions and issues.
And now…I find myself in a new unfamiliar place.
Adolescence and pre-teens ….is a strange place after years of “rocking”.
This place is littered with emotional landmines…ready to go off at any minute.
It is a place that I am LEARNING to navigate.
I am also learning that diffusing a mine ahead of time is MUCH easier than cleaning up the mess from an “explosion”.
This is a fragile journey that is not for the “faint at heart”…we are in the heart of the “battle” and are standing our ground.
These children were given to me …IN CONFIDENCE.
I have no doubt that this was pre-ordained and planned.
I have no doubt that I am supposed to be right here…right now.
The problem is explaining to THEM that the lessons they are faced with are necessary, true experiences NEEDED to shape them into WHO THEY ARE MEANT TO BE.
This is HARD stuff.
Harder than whipping out a boob and changing a diaper …