Saturday, September 29, 2012

Not your normal “almost” 12 year old….

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As we drove home there seemed to be a stillness that settled in the 3rd row seat of the van.
Zeek was sitting back there alone and his “vibe” just changed.
A dark cloud hung over him.  It seemed to linger and cloud his usual HAPPY self.
When we got home I asked and asked what was wrong…..
After tons of cohersing and convincing….
He hesitated and hesitated.
He tried and he tried to find the words that were scattered in his confused and foggy pre-teen mind.
Then he said something that I will never forget.
He said, “Mom, I just feel like THIS TIME in life is going by so FAST.  I don’t want it to.  Before we know it will be over.”
I stood there baffled.
What do you say to that?
I mean really?
I was so shell shocked that my mind was frozen.
He was stealing my exact thoughts.  He KNOWS.
Somehow, in the last few months,  my sweet, innocent little boy has grown into a self-aware pre-teen that recognizes his own emotions.
And NOW…he Knows.
He understands that life is not FOREVER.
It is fleeting and not always exactly what you bargained for.
It is …at times…HARD AS SHIT.
And when you are a kid just figuring that out….it kind of sucks.
We talked
talked some more.
I tried to explain to him that in this life, the devil will always try and steal your joy.
Every. single. time.
He will try and trick you into feeling like what you have  is not enough.
He will try and manipulate you into thinking that THIS LIFE is TOO HARD to handle.
I tried to tell him that THAT feeling…the one of sadness and sorrow, THAT is the one that lets you know that he is winning.
It is not always easy…
But- as children of God….we must fight that good fight.
Because life is a warzone and our minds are the battlefield.
Not always an easy concept for a 12 year old….
But –Then again... He  isn’t your normal 12 year old.
Pretty soon...he was back to his smiling self.

1 comment:

NancyPrevatt said...

Amazing. You are an excellent storyteller. I loooove you!!