This week I have been “digging thru” some issues with a friend.
Lets just say…she is having trouble with “being ACCEPTED” by family members.
Sometimes people find it hard to accept something they don’t understand.
It’s actually something I have come to be FAMILIAR WITH over the last 12 years.
ESPECIALLY when people want to hold you to THEIR standards.
The coversations we have been having take me back to the begenning of my “journey”.
When I was 21 -I was what we now call a “hot mess”.
In serious DENIAL of what was of TRUE VALUE in life.
Trust me….it was SERIOUS DENIAL.
Then……………………………………………………………………….
My true self was awakened in me.
I was granted a gift……..knowledge of self.
Something happens in your heart and SOUL when GOD awakens you.
Something miraculous and peaceful.
A “seed of courage” is planted.
A “spiritual seed” ..so to say.
It is something that at first starts small and needs to be NURTURED.
It has to have time to establish its “roots”.
It is like a tree that starts small and is quite easy to dig up-
AT FIRST.
BUT*****
if you leave it alone and let it LIVE,
if you let it establish its “roots”….
SOON-
the tree stands SO STRONG that-
Neither SHOVEL or STORM can harm it.
Courage is like this.
It was for me.
At first…it was HARD for me to explain what had “happened” to me to family and friends.
It was hard for me to explain WHY is I was BECOMING who I was.
Some thought it was a phase.
MOST were skeptical.
But Jah is amazing and when he plants a “seed” …
he intends for it to GROW into a TREE.
Soon..
my “roots” were firmly planted in my FAITH.
NOONE could deny it.
Lots didn’t understand it.
My life had changed..
I was DIFFERENT.
Not different in the “I am doing this TO BE different” way.
Different in the “I have changed from the INSIDE out” way.
It started on the inside and manifest itself PHYSICALLY on the outside.
Which is REALLY HARD for some to accept.
Hard for some to accept that I have CHOSEN this life.
I have CHOSEN this struggle.
I have CHOSEN to be on the “outside” of the norm.
I have CHOSEN to MAKE people confront THEMSELVES when looking at me.
I have CHOSEN COURAGE.
But it is a PROCESS.
Like I said…It starts small.
But…
over time-
it produces BEAUTIFUL fruit.
“Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising which tempt you to believe that your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires courage.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson
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