1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:
2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
Every month I fight a monster that swells inside me.
It is NOT PRETTY.
It is not FUN.
And believe me…it does not come and go without its’ fair amount of GUILT.
“Mommy guilt” I call it.
I feel guilty every month because I am not at 100%(for a few days).
During THOSE days…I am not the FUN teacher,
the COOL mom,
or the CARING wife I normally am.
I am TIRED, CRANKY, IRRATABLE, and SNAPPY.
But I suck.
I can’t seem to be PATIENT or KIND.
Trust me…the “fruits of the spirit” are BURIED DEEP inside me during this time.
I want to overcome it.
I want to BE NORMAL.
But …I can’t.
I want to WANT to be near all the SMALL PEOPLE running around..
ALL I hear is the arguing.
Somehow, the smacking is AMPLIFIED.
Even watching “America’s Funniest Home Videos” is a chore.
THAT is BAD.
THAT is not ADMARABLE.
It is TRUE.
It is not a side of me that I am proud of,
I am being honest.
I need to remember that I need to GIVE MYSELF those days.
I need to HONOR my body during those days.
I need to remember that in a few years there will be 3 FEMALES in this house in the same “boat” at he same time!!!!
And if we know what is good for us I will SCHEDULE in “those” days.
The days when I allow myself to “let things slide”.
Days when I let the laundry go, stay in my Pj’s, and CHILL.
For the time being….I want to remember that these days are precious.
These days are numbered.
Cranky or not.
These days are PRECIOUS.