Chocolate and it’s NOT SO SWEET side.

A couple of years ago I remember just starting to teach the kids about slavery in  the early days of American History.  We talked about the underground railroad and Harriet Tubman.  We talked about what it would be like to be an abolitionist.

At one point I remember saying, “ If I lived back then I would have been one OF THEM.” 

My thoughts were - If I lived back then….

I would have stood up.

I would have fought.

I would have used my voice.

I would have been a zealot.

I would NOT have stood by and WATCHED.

I couldn’t have stood by and KNOWN and done NOTHING.

I would have been moved to ACTION.

I would have been a rebel.

BIG SURPRISE…I know.

I kinda had an…..

“If only I had lived back then…” mentality.

I figured that slavery was a thing of the past.  Slavery was something that seemed far away and ancient.  Something that I only thought about as an “old world” problem.  A lesson in school to teach….not a real life current issue.

I could not have been more wrong.

Slavery is alive and well…all over the world.

Which to me seems like a global basic human rights issue…It seems like there is something terribly horrific about the fact that in 1st world countries we worry about our credit card debt and the newest trend…while, for the most part,  we ignore the fact that it is PROBABLY enslaved poverty-stricken people that MAKE most of our CRAP we feel we NEED to live.

Sick  .

And we are ALL part of the problem.

But…

We CAN also be part of the solution.

There ARE things we can do to HELP.

Little things…things that DO MATTER.

Things we HAVE CONTROL OVER….IMMEDIATELY.

Things like our MONEY and HOW we spend it.

In our home…one of the things I am starting to do lately is try and buy as many FAIR TRADE products as possible. 

“FAIR TRADE is a system that makes sure that poor farmers and workers in developing countries get a fair price for their goods/crops.  Enough so they can put food on the table at night, send their kids to school…”…Harriet Lamb in Chocolate: The Bitter Truth

Fair trade is also a system that keeps children OUT of slavery.  It is a system that MAKES SURE(or tries) to keep children from being sold into slavery because of UNFATHOMABLE POVERTY.

Fair Trade is something that we can participate in TODAY.

It is something we can DO and be a part of.

Because  …In the good ole’ USA- We all have MONEY.

Which means…we have POWER.

I mean…In this day and age I may not be able to GO TO AFRICA and personally save enslaved children with the MERCY PROJECT…But I CAN make sure that the stuff I buy doesn’t come from enslaved children.

One of those things is CHOCOLATE.

We all buy it…all of us.

In SOME way, shape, or form….we buy it.

And we buy a lot of it.

Especially NOW..around Halloween.

MILLIONS..if not BILLIONS of dollars are spent to buy candy that people hand out without a thought as to WHERE it came from.

Even in our house…we don’t celebrate Halloween, but don’t think I don’t get in on a good candy sale!!!  I DO!!!

We ALL buy it and eat it….

which means you either participate in the child slavery or you use your money to STAND against it.

Because ……

True….

Kristen at Rage Against the Mini-van writes: “A report from the International Institute of Tropical Agriculture about cocoa farms in the Ivory Coast estimated there were 284,000 children working on cocoa farms in hazardous conditions. Some of them have been taken from their families, or sold as servants. U.S. chocolate manufacturers have claimed they are not responsible for the conditions on cocoa plantations since they don't own them. This includes Hershey, Mars, Nestle, and the US division of Cadbury . . . who collectively represent pretty much every snack-size candy bar that will be available in stores this Halloween. “

SAD.

Who knew???? 

This has been happening for GENERATIONS.

Heart Breaking….

Why not use your money to MAKE SURE that this doesn’t happen?

Watch the video below and MAKE. A. DIFFERENCE.

Don’t be part of the commercial chocolate companies nasty little secret.

Buy Fair Trade.

Always.

Teach your kids what the fair trade symbol looks like.

Explain to them what it is.

You will be a modern day abolitionist.

 

Watch this video and educate yourself…

you will be shocked.

Here are some other links you might enjoy:

My dear friend Heather..and her other options for halloween

Wanna know more about FAIR TRADE???

Educate yourself.  Empower Others.

You never know when…

you

could

be

them.

Yes.

Better Everyday….

 

I remember years ago when they children were smaller and I was COMPLETELY overwhelmed.

Like Jay would come home from working 8 hours and I would want HIM to cook dinner….I know. Don’t judge.

I had 4 kids under 6 at one point.

I was actually losing my mind….a little at a time. True story.

No….I actually LOST MY MIND a few times.

And dinner????

Pa-lease……….can you say???

Last

thing

on

my

mind.

I just didn’t really do it.

I felt UNSURE of HOW and just not into it.

As I look back…that seems selfish.

But…I was in a funk.

For a few years.

Again…Don’t judge…Raising babies is HARD AS SHIT.

and raising 4???  That is certifiable.

But…I guess just like anything else…

life changes.

Circumstances change and things that weren’t important…

suddenly become important.

Things I didn’t THINK I could do in my life…

I am learning to figure out.

One foot in front of the other……

1 battle at a time.

Until one day….

I find myself standing over a homemade cheesecake with all the laundry done, and tomorrows meal in the crockpot.

Go Me.

I mean, raising kids is STILL hard as shit…

But, I think I might be getting the hang of it.

Maybe.

Check back tomorrow because…

you never know.

I mean…there are still 4 kids.

LOL.

Those moments….

Home is a place not only of strong affections, but of entire unreserve; it is life's undress rehearsal, its backroom, its dressing room, from which we go forth to more careful and guarded intercourse, leaving behind us much debris of cast-off and everyday clothing….Harriet Beecher Stowe

Have you ever had a moment that takes your breathe away???

A moment that you find yourself….outside yourself, looking in?

A moment that is you are sooooo consumed with LOVE that you feel like you will actually explode?

Sometimes, as I go thru my day, it hits me….

this time

these people

this feeling

these moments

ALL of THIS….

is unimaginably beautiful and special.

This family that we have created is nothing less than miraculous.

We are tight-knit…like- “so tight knit we don’t even realize HOW tight we are” type of close.

Maybe- it is because we spend the MAJORITY of our time together.

It COULD BE  because I PUSH that vibe in the house.

MAYBE it  has something to do with homeschooling.

It MIGHT be because I have a hard time “letting go”.

MAYBE it’s because “our little tribe”  is  just a TAD bit different from most people around us…

OR

Maybe it is a little of ALL of those things.

It’s like a neatly knitted quilt of all our personalities.

We all FIT each other.

Don’t get me wrong….sometimes we fuss and fight- but it’s safe to say we don’t know what to do without each other.

The dynamic in this home is striking sometimes.

Yesterday,  Zeek went to the middle school basketball game with family to see his cousin Sebastian play.  He was really excited, as you can imagine for a 12 year old homeschooled boy.  He was R-E-A-D-Y….all day. 

So…when he got home, we we’re all ready to hear what he has to say about the game.

“Was it fun, Bud???”

“It was soooooooooooooo fun Mom” he said with a huge GAPING  smile.

Then I watched as all the other kids surrounded him as if he had been away at sea for months…they we’re asking a million questions.

What did you do?

Who was there?

What did they say?

LOL.

We all we’re.

We want to know how it was for him…out there.

Without us.

Separate from “the unit”.

We want to know all the details,

we want to know HOW.HE.DID….

OUT

THERE.

Some people may say we are too co-dependent,  too- involved,…

Some people say that they need independence..

I say…..

I will hover over these kids and milk this time in this life for EVERY flippin’ second I can get.

I will send them out into that crazy world…then pull them back in.  to discuss it….a bunch.

Because….

these are THOSE  moments that take my breath away.

THESE are the moments that fill my heart….

and make it almost explode.

Not your normal “almost” 12 year old….

As we drove home there seemed to be a stillness that settled in the 3rd row seat of the van.
Zeek was sitting back there alone and his “vibe” just changed.
A dark cloud hung over him.  It seemed to linger and cloud his usual HAPPY self.
When we got home I asked and asked what was wrong…..
After tons of cohersing and convincing….
He hesitated and hesitated.
He tried and he tried to find the words that were scattered in his confused and foggy pre-teen mind.
Then he said something that I will never forget.
He said, “Mom, I just feel like THIS TIME in life is going by so FAST.  I don’t want it to.  Before we know it will be over.”
Seriously?????
I stood there baffled.
What do you say to that?
I mean really?
WHAT
DO
YOU
SAY
TO
THAT?
I was so shell shocked that my mind was frozen.
He was stealing my exact thoughts.  He KNOWS.
Somehow, in the last few months,  my sweet, innocent little boy has grown into a self-aware pre-teen that recognizes his own emotions.
And NOW…he Knows.
He understands that life is not FOREVER.
It is fleeting and not always exactly what you bargained for.
It is …at times…HARD AS SHIT.
And when you are a kid just figuring that out….it kind of sucks.
Sooooo…..
We talked
and
talked
and
talked some more.
I tried to explain to him that in this life, the devil will always try and steal your joy.
Every. single. time.
He will try and trick you into feeling like what you have  is not enough.
He will try and manipulate you into thinking that THIS LIFE is TOO HARD to handle.
I tried to tell him that THAT feeling…the one of sadness and sorrow, THAT is the one that lets you know that he is winning.
It is not always easy…
But- as children of God….we must fight that good fight.
Because life is a warzone and our minds are the battlefield.
Not always an easy concept for a 12 year old….
But –Then again... He  isn’t your normal 12 year old.
Pretty soon...he was back to his smiling self.
Devil-0
Mom-1

They don’t even know.

 

As parents we plan  things for our kids.

For the last few months we have been saving $20 a week to bring the kids to Disney/Orlando for 2 of their birthdays.

We usually have a big party and invite all our friends…but THIS YEAR…we decided that as the kids got older…

we want to absorb them.

we want to soak up the moment we have with them.

we want them to ourselves.

we have come to realize that we ARE each other.

Not like, “We ARE each other” in a weird new-age hippy sort of way.   But, “We are each other” in the way that as they get older and mature…they are unfolding.

Their personalities are saturated with the traits that we have nurtured.

So…when we make a trip together or take a “mini-vacation” it is a sort of team building exercise …of sorts.

It teaches us to work together.

It teaches US that we are a unit.

The total SUM of US is larger than the individual parts.

And the SUM is amazing.

But…sometimes it only becomes evident when we step outside of our normal.

THEN…

It becomes an exercise in LOVING each other, an exercise in appreciating WHO WE ARE.

It gives the kids an opportunity to nurture those relationships that as brothers and sisters can become STRAINED by  everyday  life.

We do it because we know that life is fleeting.  Time is limited and everything but memories FADE.

We do it because these memories are the ones that will embed themselves in their minds.

They will DEFINITELY remember the bubble beards they made with their brothers and sisters at the pool in Orlando.

Or… building a kick-ass Lego car with your brother and racing it against all the other kids at the Logo-store at Downtown Disney.

They might never recall the days that they helped each other with chores, but they will definitely remember sharing a smoothie with ALL their brothers and sisters when it was 1000 degrees outside.

And sometimes even a brother and sister who have been arguing about everything….learn that in life they really do appreciate each other.

It’s funny to me that we do all these things so that they realize something they already knew…

They ARE each others best friends.

They are the ones that they can count on when EVERYONE ELSE fails them.

They ARE parts of each other.

And they don’t even know it.

Yet.

Maybe another day….

We are in a space in this parenting game that is hard to write about at times.

It not like it was when they were babies or toddlers and I could tell every funny or embarrassing story about them.  I could say anything about them

Now….

we have a 7 year old,

an 8 year old,

a 9 year old tween,

and a 12 year old pre-teen.

Holy Flippin’ Smoke….

needless to say, sometimes I REALLY have to THINK about whether or not to write about the conversations we have.

I want this to be an honest place I can record our lives.  I want it to be a place that they can COME BACK TO later on in life and read about how funny they were and FEEL how in love with them I always was.…I want it to be authentic, but…

I

don’t

EVER

want

to

embarrass

them.

Ever.

But….I also feel like I have a few more years to “tell it like is” really is before they start reading my blog themselves.  So weird to think about.

So tonight…..I will pray about telling you the story about our 1st time explaining the “birds and the bees”.

Trust me….

it will be worth the wait….

LOL

LemonSprout Love…….

Lemonsprout  is new branch of Lemon Tree Photography.

My friend Jamie Williams is a stay at home Mom with 3 kids.  She has recently picked up crocheting again after years of spending her time and talents on photography.  She started crocheting as a child in foster homes, but only made scarves and blankets. 

“I never tried a hat until recently and I'm now in love with the endless possibilities..” said Jamie.

She uses  many different yarns, including acrylic blends organic cotton and organic bamboo blends.

And did I mention FLIPPIN’ CUTE?????

I mean seriously?????? 

How freakin’ cute is this Minnie Mouse hat I SPECIAL ORDERED for a baby gift???

I almost MELTED when I saw it….no seriously…

Almost

melted.

Freaking ADORABLE!!!!

She also makes handmade accessories such as headbands, blankets, hats, toys  and much more.

She does accept custom orders, depending on the pattern it only takes 2 to 3 days for a complete finished product.

WOW…. Perfect for the procrastinating mother of 4 like myself.

“Your imagination is the only thing holding you back when it comes to crocheting, and the yarn supply at the store.”  says Jamie.

She can ship anywhere, & can be found on Etsy , Facebook ,  and Pinterest.

It is a GREAT idea for a baby shower or just winter hats for your kids(guilty!!!!). 

Run and check out all the adorable stuff she can create…and support a stay at home Mom.  Good Stuff!!!!!

I mean seriously….How could you not order THIS?????

Really????

Run.

Now.

Order.

You won’t be sorry!!!!

The Test….again.

 

It NEVER fails.

Never.

You see, Shasha is a strong-willed child.

Strong-willed meaning…she can STAND STRONG with the best of them.  She has an amazing ability to NOT GIVE IN.  Ever.  She is like a wild horse that at times…

needs

to

be

broken.

She is hard headed and amazingly loving at the same time.  She just has a hard time changing her attitude mid-emotion.  She does not do well with things NOT GOING HER WAY.  It isn’t necessarily that she ALWAYS wants her way…its just that when she comes up against a hardship ….she can’t hang.

She will complain and grovel.  a lot.

She has a tendency to have a hard time learning her lessons.  So hard that sometimes I just want to shake her and say, “LOOK…learn your lessons the 1st time!!!  It will make life soooo much easier.”

As you can imagine…she USUALLY DOES NOT listen.

So it happens again and again….she gets the “short stick”.

Again and again….and again.

For instance…This summer we started a new chore system.  mainly because Shasha wanted to do it differently.(till then we used rotating chore charts).  She thought it would work better for her a “different way”.

So I started a NEW SYSTEM where I wrote all the chores on poker chips and put them in a tin can, and gave all the kids their own can.

I mean seriously….it couldn’t be MORE fair right?  They pick their OWN chores.  If they pick one they don’t like, they can’t complain to ME. Ha…brilliant, right? I figured at this point…it was out of my hands. I was really getting the hang of this parenting thing…LOL. NOT.

So…the 1st morning came and the kids picked their chores 1 at a time.  Everyone smiled…except Shasha.

She picked EVERY CHORE she was bent on avoiding:

feed chickens

feed guinea pigs

water for chickens

water for guinea pigs

feed dogs

Every chore she HATES.

Every chore she was avoiding.

Every single one.

Needless to say, she was not pleased with this new arrangement.

She was PISSED.  This had not worked the way she had intended.. at.all.

She looked at me waiting.  Waiting for me to jump in and save her.  Waiting for me to come to her rescue.

I looked at her and KNEW in that moment.

It was out of MY HANDS.  God was in control of this one.

I explained to her that the chores were not the issue. 

Her attitude was the issue.  The fact that she didn’t willing accept what was given to her without complaining was the problem.

It was THE TEST.

I told her that in life God will put you to many tests.   When he sees a problem inside us he is determined to fix it.  He is a master at his craft and he will saturate our lives with the direct problems we need to face.

Every time.

I was proven right when..for the next 3 days she pulled the SAME STINKIN’ CHORES.

Crazy cool.

He will put us to a test…UNTIL we pass.

AMAZING.

Milk Zombies and Land Mines.

Sometimes……Parenting SUCKS.

I know that isn’t popular….

but sometimes….

Parenting

just

plain

sucks.

It is difficult, and consuming…as it should be.

But lately…I feel a little like there has been a “game change”.

You see….when you start a family the PHYSICAL work is demanding.

You get no sleep, you walk around like a zombie milk factory that produces on demand….which is completely consuming(physically).

It is EXAUSTING!!!!!

Like…”throw yourself in front of a train” exhausting.

There are times when you feel like it will never end.

It feels ETERNAL.

But it isn’t.  It ends. Slowly.

Like “right under your nose”…it ends.  Time slips away and before you know it there are no more nursing pads, nipple cream, or dirty diapers.

It is GLORIOUS…for a second.

When I was busy having babies, I was tired, but I spent most of my time sitting and staring into the eyes of these little souls while I nursed them.

I listened to music, read books, and ROCKED…a lot.

And then…all of the sudden….they are different.

The work became…..more mental.

All the sudden…those babies, became people.

Like …real people.

With thoughts and concerns and emotions and issues.

And now…I find myself in a new unfamiliar place.

Adolescence and pre-teens ….is a strange place after years of “rocking”.

This  place  is littered with emotional  landmines…ready to go off at any minute.

It is a place that I am LEARNING to navigate.

I am also learning that diffusing a mine ahead of time is MUCH easier than cleaning up the mess from an “explosion”.

This is a fragile journey that is not for the “faint at heart”…we are in the heart of the “battle” and are standing our ground.

These children were given to me …IN CONFIDENCE.

I have no doubt that this was pre-ordained and planned.

I have no doubt that I am supposed to be right here…right now.

The problem is explaining to THEM that the lessons they are faced with are necessary, true experiences NEEDED to shape them into WHO THEY ARE MEANT TO BE.

This is HARD stuff.

Harder than whipping out a boob and changing a diaper …

THAT

IS

FOR

SURE.