Life is beautiful.
Blessed with a life full of light, love an laughter.
An even so...I can get caught up in ME.
I can get all mixed up inside myself and my mind can get cloudy.
I am a woman born into an American "culture" that promotes a false image of reality for women.
For the first part of my life my actions were DEEPLY rooted in vanity and the I ignored the fact that my worth was something that was determined by ME.
Not determined by how skinny my arms were or how flat my tummy is.
I failed to appreciate the fact that GOD made me...and there was NOONE like me.
But I denied it.
I chose to follow the ways of the world....sheeple style.
An trust me ....I work on burning out those thoughts...DAILY.
And I wrestle with myself ....Still.
But those thoughts are private and self-serving...I TRY to keep them to myself.
So recently when I lost a couple of BOWLING BALLS of weight....it felt good.
Not because it made me "skinny"(it did not)...but because it made me FEEL BETTER.
From the inside....out.
And everyone noticed....but my husband.
Even Shasha said, "Mom, I have never seen you wear THAT before." when I pulled something OLD out of the closet.
When my BFF Shainee saw Jay at the store the other day...she said, "What do you think about Jana losing weight?"
His response was the sweetest gift that I never knew I wanted.
"I don't know. I don't even notice. I don't see that. I just see HER. She is JANA to me ...no matter what."
It showed how much he TRULY LOVES ME....no matter what size my pant are.
He loves me from the inside OUT.
He REALLY LOVES me for me...and that is better than ANY chocolate cake OR skinny jeans.