I officially turned into my Mother.
I love my Mother, don’t get me wrong. She is amazing,but- there is something weird and “out –of- body” when you realize ..
Maybe not in every way…maybe not every DAY.
But…at the core we are all OUR MOTHERS.
Mothers are all the same…at the core.
We love our babies and will fight to the death for our families.
All the same….kind of.
When I was young….I liked thrift stores.
I LOVED a $.25 shirt.
My Mother did not….which of course, fueled MY fire.
She would throw them away when I wasn’t watching.
Every chance I got I would go to the Purple Heart in Pasadena, Texas and buy every $.25 shirt I thought would slightly set me apart from EVERYONE else….and slightly tick off my Mom.
Of course, at the time…I didn’t realize what I was doing….
On SOME levels.
I thought I just liked THOSE shirts.
I was not yet wise enough to realize that at my core …I was just being a rebel….to be a rebel.
I was not yet wise enough that I was fighting the wrong oppose.
She wasn’t the enemy…even if she DID steal my shirts.
She wasn’t TRYING to keep me from the vintage jacket that I got for $3…..but she couldn’t help it.
She was trying…..just to keep some control.
She NEEDED to still grasp onto me in some small way.
I was growing up, and she just wanted to do some editing.
And then you GROWN UP…..and have kids of your own.
At some point we realize that our parents want what is BEST for us…even if it means fighting us.
Even if it means EDITING…just to have a touch of control on something you have NO CONTROL over …
And then it happened to me…..
Sheba got a shirt in a bag of clothes…
It was CRAZY BAD….
I know that the animal print and stripes are “in”…but-
I took the shirt before Sheba could see it and
Immediately realizing that ..
I AM MY MOTHER.
I AM EVERY MOTHER.
Just editing my way thru their lives…
TRYING to hold onto a small bit of control.
Just like MY Mother did.