Sometimes people ask, “WHY do you homeschool???”
I always stand there…STUNNED for a minute.
There are SOOOOOO MANY reasons WHY I homeschool, it always FEELS heavy when someone asks….Like there is JUDGEMENT in there somewhere.
I mean REALLY???? Is THAT a question that NEEDS to be asked today??? I would never say to someone, “WHY do you put your kids in PUBLIC school????”
And in the words of Ziggy Marley…
“I don’t condemn. I don’t convert.”
I love homeschooling….AND I realize that not everyone CAN homeschool, for 1 reason or another.
I love the HUGE, MASSIVE Responsibility of teaching all my 4 children EVERYTHING they know.
It is DAUNTING…and HEAVY, but I would have it
Trust me…It is HUGE.
I FEEL IT.
And the anxiety and worry that comes with homeschooling is UNBELIEVABLE.
Are my kids doing what THEY are?
Are my kids reading THAT?
Are my kids as smart as THEM?
All these thoughts have run through my head 1000’s of times like a replaying record….skipping.
There is not 1 DAY that goes by that I am not aware that I am the AMBASSADOR for the FUTURE of these kids.
I feel it.
I have doubts everyday….
CAN I do this?
SHOULD I do this?
WHY am I doing this?
We are on our 6th year of homeschooling and I am only SLIGHTLY more confident than I was the 1st year!!! LOL'
But everyday I tell myself a few things:
I am BRAVE
I am STRONG
NOONE is more INVESTED in these children than ME.
And when I need it…
GOD reassures me that I am on MY journey.
I am following HIS lead.
I am teaching MORE than MATH.
By homeschooling them and having them TOGETHER all the time, I am fostering something beautiful between them.
I am giving them a gift…an opportunity to GROW something sweet inside themselves.
And sometimes…right when I feel TOO run down, or TOO tired I am given a SIGN.
A sign that says, ”You are doing something RIGHT.”
THAT is what happened last night….
We had gone to Jacksonville for the annual Holiday dinner and were all totally stuffed and tired when we left…so on the way home – the girls fell asleep.
We pulled in the driveway and I prepared myself to get Sheba and carry her inside.
By the time I got to the back door of the van, Zeek was there and he said , “No, Mom…I got her” , and he picks up his sleeping, heavy 6 year old sister and carries toward the door.
As I walk behind them, I see her wake up and look to see WHO is carrying her. When she sees it is Zeek, she smiles and lays her head back down on his shoulder…confident that her brother has her.
It really made me feel BLESSED and touched.
It reminded me that we don’t have to be ANYONE else but US.
We don’t have to COMPETE.
We are doing JUST FINE…………………..