Sunday, August 1, 2010

Bitter SWEET……

What a blessing it is to visit sweet family and friends. 

2 years is TOO LONG.

When I came to Texas I am always reminded of a life that I lived here.

The family, friends, experiences, and memories….the all come flooding back.

As I sat on the back porch of my Dads house last night, a feeling of such GRATITUDE came over me.

As My sister, Dad, Jay and I talked and reminisced I couldn't help but feel sooooooooo Blessed.

It is bitter sweet……

I love my family and love Texas.

I know that I am MEANT to be where I am.

I KNOW that my life is EXACTLY where it is supposed to be..

BUT- I cant help but feel a little PIT in my stomach.

A little ACHE. 

My heart is heavy when I think about HOW MUCH I miss everyone.

At the same time …….I feel like I have  such a great life in Florida.

I just wish Florida was the CITY next to Texas.

I wish that I could ALWAYS be here for the MEMORY MAKING.

I wish I was always here for the stories, laughs and get-together.

I miss my parents and can’t even imagine HOW they handle their daughter being sooo far away.

As I get older I realize more and more what a CRAZY CHILD I was.

At 19 I was a  rebel who just wanted to GO.

Not to GET AWAY from them….just to GET AWAY.

See something new….like Florida.

It makes me SCARED.

What if I have a “rebel child”???

oh LORD …PLEASE let my children STAY CLOSE.

I don't know If my heart could take it.

I can see it in my Fathers eyes…….It HURTS.

So…as I take it all in and spend 10 days in Texas on vacation, I have learned to TRULY appreciate all the memories made and all the laughter and LOVE that we can gather up.

I put it safely in my heart ….so that when I am IN my life in Florida, I always carry them with me.

Bitter sweet….Bitter sweet it is.

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